Monday, December 08, 2008


So Matt left this morning for a week out in the field. I'm on my own till Friday evening... oh, the terror! I'm trying to be determined to muster up some energy and really clean up so it's nice when he gets back. He's done so much for me over the past weeks and I want him to know I appreciate it. Plus, maybe, maybe, if I get everything cleaned as best as I can we can try to maintain the standard and I won't feel so bad about how dirty my house looks.

The other night we were in bed and he put his arms around me and said "Thank you for carrying my child." It was so sweet I almost cried. It was also about a million times more romantic than the phrase he uttered the night before in his sleep. I do love it when he talks in his sleep because then I get to taunt him with his weirdness when he wakes up. The "I said THAT???" never fails to crack me up.

My pink-clad children are playing computer games. Learning games. The other night Genevieve started writing the letter A all by herself... and I did not teach it to her, she got it from the game. It's not that I don't try, apparently I'm just too boring or something. The computer is way cooler, I guess.

Monday, December 01, 2008

a long way to go still, but...

The internet sucks today. I'm bored and tired. All I want to do is sit around and waste time online and I can't find anything fun. Boooo! It sucks so bad I can't even get up a good rant.

My kids are playing a game on the other computer, Matt got them some learning games and they've been doing really well with it (much better than when I try to sit down with them and teach them... koosner kids).

I have my first doctor's appointment tomorrow. I don't really know what is going to happen since it's with a general practitioner and not an OB, but whatever... I've started the process. Finally, 14.5 weeks into this pregnancy. Maybe having appointments on the calendar will make the next 25.5 weeks go by faster... upside: 25 weeks sounds so much shorter than 40! Woo!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

My girls.

Today, this morning, my Adrienne lost her first tooth. Most kids are delighted by this event, and the knowledge that they are going to find a dollar or something under their pillows the next morning. Not my girl. Nope. She was devastated.

Now, this had actually been a long time coming. Back at the end of May she was playing at the Pear Blossom Cottage (in Korea, mere days before we left the country) and she ran around a corner... just as a little boy was running around the corner in the opposite direction. As luck would have it he was just about a head shorter than Adrienne. Her front tooth got knocked loose, I had to take her up to the ER and the dentist. They assured me that if she was careful she would be able to keep her tooth and it would firm up again. If not her adult teeth were already there, visible in the x-ray, and she would begin losing teeth in a year or so in all likelihood.

Well, the thing is, my dear sweet Adrienne is NOT careful. She's a bit clumsy. She comes by it honestly--in this respect she is SOOOO much like her Daddy it's laughable. When I was a kid I skipped and ran everywhere. She skips, runs, and trips. Takes it all in stride. Unfortunately these habits have brought her at least three re-injuries of her tooth. Once she ran into her little sister Genevieve. Once she tripped while brushing her teeth and banged her mouth on the sink (ouch, I know). And then she somehow managed to bang it on the drawer of her dresser while getting ready for bed (I have no idea how).

She's been to the dentist here. During the first visit he noted that it was still mobile. Apparently he didn't mention it at the second visit (she's got a couple cavaties, the dentist blames it on her sleeping with her mouth open and her having "an acidic mouth", she is actually very good about teeth brushing). Well... third visit she's going in one tooth short. Because it fell out while she was eating breakfast this morning.

I was laying on the couch relaxing when she comes running up to me wailing and crying. I looked up and asked her what was wrong, imagining that she'd injured herself. What I see is her holding her tooth between two fingers, a gap in her front teeth, and tears pouring down her face. Devastated. I had told her for awhile that she would lose the tooth. For awhile she was asking me every night if she'd lose her tooth and when I said "yes, someday you will. everyone loses their teeth and grows new ones" she would cry and insist that she wanted to keep her tooth. "I'm not going to lie to you just to make you happy. Some day it's going to fall out." She was never happy with that answer. Today after cuddling with me for a few minutes she calmed down and said "You told me that some day my tooth would fall out."

She's pretty chipper now... but I think if I tell her that she will lose other teeth someday she will FREAK OUT.

In other news we are now a two car family for the first time ever. Matt has been taking the car every morning but he came to the realization that with dentist, dermatologist, pediatrician, and whenever I decide to call and make the appointment, OBGYN appointments to get to it will be a pain in the butt to try and bring him back and forth. We don't go anywhere and the kids are bored and kind of lonely. They need outings to the library and such. It's hard meeting new people sometimes, but (before i started getting morning sickness) if we go out and do stuff they are satisfied. Now, hopefully, the sickness is easing up and I can start functioning normally again. (Knock on wood.) We went out both Friday and Saturday and I fared really well. This was huge because it's been WEEKS, early October at least, that I've been anywhere outside my own front door. Please God let this part be over for me! Anyway, my original point was it's kinda weird looking out at our parking spaces and seeing two cars. It's also nice to know that when I go into labor and Colleen is here with my kids she'll have transportation if she needs to take them anywhere, neither she or Matt will be stuck anywhere. Nice to know that I won't be having to get up early to drive Matt in to work when we have appointments, too. I'm lazy.

Oh, speaking of the dermatologist... I am happy and sad in a way. Genevieve's eczema is finally starting to clear up, but it comes with the downside that I have steroid creams to thank for it. She's been through a couple treatments before, back when we were in Korea that were ineffective. (Elidel and hydrocortisone cream--which did nothing to help, and Triamcinalone--which actually did work but 3 days after stopping the 2 week treatment she flared back up again. AND the derm said is too strong for a child Genevieve's age... makes me want to call Dr. C. and tell him he's a dumbass.) So the doctor prescribed 5 medications. A antibotic for the underlying infection from scratching (always recurring in children with eczema), three steroids (of different strengths for different degrees of severity in her flare ups, and a daily lotion (available by 'scrip only). We started with the mid-range steroid (I kind of think the doctor wanted me to start with the strongest but I got confused and Genevieve's skin isn't THAT bad right now so I started with the middle strength), we've been using that for two days along with the daily cream (I put it on her ar night right before bed, it helps control her night itching--two nights and she hasn't woken up crying for lotion because she itches, this makes me so happy, it has been SO long since we had good nights with her) and her skin is already looking better. Hopefully we can wean her fron the steroid creams once her skin clears up, but for now... I'll do what I have to to give her relief. No more dry, scaly, scabby skin for my baby, Please! Thank you Dr. Lane.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

I love the way we are.

I went out to the kitchen to get myself a snack (something which I do at least hourly these days) and Adrienne (5) comes out to me and says "I'm hungry."

"What do you want?"

"A toaster strudel."

"Ok, you can make one." (Her father taught her how and she is very careful. We have these little wooden tongs for taking the bread out of the toaster so no one gets burned.)

"No, I want you to make it."

"Slave driver!"

"That's not a very nice thing to say."

"No, it's not. Do you know what it means?"


"It means you want me to do all the work while you sit on your butt."

"But, I'm tired."

I laugh, "So am I! You're just sitting watching TV. I'm making a baby!"

She smiles and says "Yeah." and leaves me to make her toaster strudel.

I just ate a mozzarella cheese stick and now I don't feel so good. I shoulda stuck with the dang grapefruit.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


What's up with the massive influx of posts today? I decided to eradicate my myspace blog, but some of the posts were memorable and I didn't want to lose them. Kate's Blogging Headquarters has officially moved to Blogger. I've been trying to pare down the number of places I'm signed up to host blogs and pictures and such, I'm keeping myspace and Xanga for the purpose of keeping in touch with people, but I deleted pics and blogs (pics are still up on myspace, but it's all private). Photobucket is gone, so is LiveJournal. Not being scattered hither and yon feels kinda nice, actually.

so tired

Thursday, May 15, 2008
I have had a completely exhausting couple of days. Just on the go constantly... and its probably only going to stay this way until we leave here. *yawn*

This evening the girls had some friends over because their family is getting ready to leave Korea, too, and their parents had a lot of work to get done and it went faster without the kids there. They leave next week, so its all much more urgent for them. They have more going on tomorrow, so I kept the 5 year old here to spend the night (the baby is 19 months old, I don't think she'd have been too pleased with staying with me all night lol). They went to bed by 10:30. Impressive. Matt read them stories. :)

I have been spending a lot of time lately wondering why things happen... how they happen... why they happen to who they happen to... I still don't get it, but I figure some things you rant about and some you take in stride. I, no exaggeration, have had a really extremely crappy month. It's finally getting better. And, no, I'm not elaborating. However, what I've had to deal with has shown me where some of my strengths and weaknesses are, so there is some positive in there. It's hidden, but it's there.

Last night Matt was talking in his sleep. The first phrase he uttered ended with him calling his senior Sgt. a jackass (I missed part of the comment becaue Charlotte started fussing). A few minutes later he says "It makes sense why we got divorced." And I said "WHAT? We got divorced?" "Yeah," he says. I laugh and ask him "What ARE you dreaming about?" and he tells me "The nine centers." Whatever the heck that means! lol When I told him about it this morning he didn't remember any of it, except that he thought he may have dreamed about a memo he needs to get from his Sgt. I thought it was all pretty hilarious.

A testament of how long this week has been... I asked Matt if he had to go back in to work tomorrow... he looked at me funny and said "Yes." I said I had figured he might. He said, "Yeah, well, it IS Friday." Doh. I thought today was Friday. Loooong day. Loooong week. lol

Things I'm going to miss about Korea...
my friends here
kiwi frozen smoothies from the ice cream novelties freezer
kimbap (but I can make this)
kalbi (I can also make this)
mandu (I can make this, too)
yogurt juice drinks
The 1000 won store (I have a thing for dollar stores...)
ummm..... hmmmm... guess I won't be missing much. haha I can't think of anything else.

I am looking forward to seeing family, friends, being able to drive again, having my stuff again, Wal Mart, only needing to worry about one form of currency, faster internet connections.... um.... oh, a whole slew of things, really. I am sure there is probably more I will miss about Korea that I can't remember... but... for now... yeah.... what I am going back to will always outweigh what I'm leaving. lol

I just need to make one more shopping trip down to Dongdaemun and I'm all set. haha

The day that began the rest of my life...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Today marks the fourth anniversary of one of the single most important days of my life. Anyone viewing my profile can figure out pretty easily who my heart belongs to, why "you can't touch this" (maybe thats why most people leave me alone and I don't get random friend reuests constantly haha). Even when we're seperated by countless miles my heart is with him. I love him more than words can say, he is my best friend, my lover, my hero... he takes care of me, comforts me, loves me... he does more for me than I could ever dare hope or ask for. Sometimes I feel like I can never do enough in return, like I'll never measure up, but somehow he still loves me. I don't deserve him. But I will cling to him for dear life, he's claimed me and there's no way he can get rid of me now.

He has given me so many things, memories, love, I can never thank him enough, or express my appreciation to its fullest... I can only try. Try to be the best wife I can be, the best mother I can be, the best friend and lover...

He is my everything. That's why I chose "You're my everything" as the song for our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Its disgustingly sappy, and totally perfect. The only difference between how I felt about him that day and how I feel about him now is that I love him MORE. Today I got an anniversary card in the mail from my grandfather... I cried when I read it. I didn't think today was really going to be all that different from any other day... I thought I could let it go by without thinking about it too much... but I can't. I miss him so much.

Yesterday my little brother asked me "If you liked someone better than Matt who would it be?" "God," I replied. "No," he said "I mean like a boyfriend." "No one." "Nobody? You would never cheat on him?" (Where he came up with that one is anyone's guess...) "NO! I'd rather kill myself." "You would DIE for him?" "Yes." "You'd DIE???" "Yes. Why wouldn't I? He would die for me." "Oh." I guess love like this is still beyond the grasp of seven year olds. Hell, at that rate its probably beyond the grasp of most adults.

I love you, Matthew Aaron. With all my heart. Happy anniversary.

Every time I look in your eyes
I know love never dies
Oh baby ...

Love is blind, and I can't see
Cupid's aimed his bow right at me
I love you and adore you
you're all that life could bring
Baby, you're my everything

Cynics sneer at fairy tales
They mock love and all it's details
But we've got something magical
those fools will never see
Baby, you're my everything

I can only stand for a moment or two
Being without you
Oh, I know it sounds extreme
But baby you're my dream come true

Yes, we've got something magical
Those fools have never seen
Baby, you're my everything

More proof that horoscopes are a crock...

Saturday, August 19, 2006
Ok, so for the hell of it I was just reading some horoscope crap... you know the generic "Today you will have a bad day!" sort... and there was the option to see how you even out on the "love meter" versus the sign of your loved one... hahahahahahahahaha

Love Compatibility of Leo with Scorpio

Scorpios prefer to play out their dramas in private, and might find the Lion's loud roar childish and hard to understand. They need a lot of emotional space and clear boundaries, while you need over-the-top displays of love and affection. You might not get what you need with a Scorpio, who is more reserved with their love. It's not hopeless, though. If you can learn not to express absolutely everything you feel, all the time, and your Scorpio can understand that you need attention and make an effort to be more demonstrative, you can make it work.

A Deeper Look
Astrology 101
Mars Opposite Uranus
Feeling Tense?

A planetary opposition between Mars and Uranus makes for tense times! Combustible Uranus opposed by almighty Mars is enough to cause an inter-planetary feud. Down here on Earth, you may sense the fallout in explosive tempers, communications rifts or mere impatience. Before you blow up at your favorite person, get centered with some relationship advice from Tarot.

It's amazing to think how related the planets are to our emotions and attitudes. We are all energetic beings co-existing in this great galaxy. When certain planetary energies shift, such as two planets moving into opposing positions with one another, this has an affect we can all feel if we pay attention ... or simply understand what's going on.

With Mars and Uranus in a tizzy now, take care of yourself by releasing unwanted tension ... so it doesn't come out the wrong way and bruise a good relationship. Tarot is a great way to clear your head and connect with the real you, free from the distractions of the world. Light a candle, make some space and ask the Tarot for insight on how to boost your relationships, rather than harm them, during this testy time.

A daily or weekly Tarot ritual is a great way to always stay connected with your inner calm. Simply ask the oracle any question ... and you'll feel your intuition begin to tingle! Tarot helps you spark the insights you need for healthy relationships, no matter what's happening in the heavens.

Ok, so after ALL that bunk, I'm sitting here thinking.... despite the fact that I'm in NY and he's in Korea our relationship couldn't be stronger. What kind of moron do these people take us for? I find it absolutely INSANE that some people actually fall for this garbage. "Oh, the planets aren't aligned properly so we're going to have a fight!" Thats just (for lack of a better word) retarded.

my kids are hilarious

Wednesday, August 23, 2006 >
They're just cracking me up today. I was having a conversation with Adrienne about our baby--she calls everyone "she" regardless if they are boy or girl, with the sole exception of her Daddy. Sooo, I decided to ask her if the baby was a boy or girl, just to get her thoughts on the matter. Her response?

"The baby's not a boy or a girl!" (with an expression which clearly said, "Geeze Mom, are you dumb?")

So I said, "Is the baby a boy?" Thinking maybe I had confused her.


"Is the baby a girl?"


"Well it has to be a boy or a girl, which is it?"

"Its NOT a boy OR a girl. Its NOTHING!"

"Ok, so the baby isn't a boy or a girl? Its just a baby?"


So there is the logic of that 3 year old. lol

Genevieve has begun asking "Whassat?" When I tell her what the particular thing is she says, puckering her lips up in the cutest little expression, "Oh."She is curious about everything. The bigger my belly gets the more she likes to blow raspberries on it. And she's a total drama queen at times. Right now she is bemoaning the fact that I told her to be nice to her aunt Gel-gel. Angelica was standing next to us and Genevieve decided she didn't want her around so she flapped her hand and said "Go!" When I told her to be nice (all I said was "Be nice" I wasn't even mean about it!) she just burst into tears... I think bedtime will come early tonight. Adrienne missed her nap and has already passed out on the floor... I've got to pick her up and put her in bed.


Thursday, July 31, 2008

You've all probably noticed that I haven't been doing much blogging lately... I am pretty much quitting that here on myspace. I really have not been using myspace much at all, in fact. I'll still be checking in most days to see what people are up to and to send messages and the like (I hadn't for a long while, but I'm trying to be better about it). I'm considering other blog venues, though. I've tried facebook but thats not really a blog-friendly interface. When I decide I will pass it along to those who are interested.

I guess I'm at a new stage... want to wipe the blog slate clean or something. I dunno exactly, but I do know that my myspace blog hasn't been "calling" to me to write. And I do want to write, but here just doesn't feel like the right place. If that makes sense.

Until I get settled at a new blog you can check out my pictures on flickr (its such a hassle uploading new ones to half a dozen different websites, I'm just sticking with that, one link and you can see them all there. I'll probably still post a few here for everyone's enjoyment, but the majority will be at flickr for your viewing pleasure.

Thursday, May 15, 2008
I have had a completely exhausting couple of days. Just on the go constantly... and its probably only going to stay this way until we leave here. *yawn*

This evening the girls had some friends over because their family is getting ready to leave Korea, too, and their parents had a lot of work to get done and it went faster without the kids there. They leave next week, so its all much more urgent for them. They have more going on tomorrow, so I kept the 5 year old here to spend the night (the baby is 19 months old, I don't think she'd have been too pleased with staying with me all night lol). They went to bed by 10:30. Impressive. Matt read them stories. :)

I have been spending a lot of time lately wondering why things happen... how they happen... why they happen to who they happen to... I still don't get it, but I figure some things you rant about and some you take in stride. I, no exaggeration, have had a really extremely crappy month. It's finally getting better. And, no, I'm not elaborating. However, what I've had to deal with has shown me where some of my strengths and weaknesses are, so there is some positive in there. It's hidden, but it's there.

Last night Matt was talking in his sleep. The first phrase he uttered ended with him calling his senior Sgt. a jackass (I missed part of the comment becaue Charlotte started fussing). A few minutes later he says "It makes sense why we got divorced." And I said "WHAT? We got divorced?" "Yeah," he says. I laugh and ask him "What ARE you dreaming about?" and he tells me "The nine centers." Whatever the heck that means! lol When I told him about it this morning he didn't remember any of it, except that he thought he may have dreamed about a memo he needs to get from his Sgt. I thought it was all pretty hilarious.

A testament of how long this week has been... I asked Matt if he had to go back in to work tomorrow... he looked at me funny and said "Yes." I said I had figured he might. He said, "Yeah, well, it IS Friday." Doh. I thought today was Friday. Loooong day. Loooong week. lol

Things I'm going to miss about Korea...
my friends here
kiwi frozen smoothies from the ice cream novelties freezer
kimbap (but I can make this)
kalbi (I can also make this)
mandu (I can make this, too)
yogurt juice drinks
The 1000 won store (I have a thing for dollar stores...)
ummm..... hmmmm... guess I won't be missing much. haha I can't think of anything else.

I am looking forward to seeing family, friends, being able to drive again, having my stuff again, Wal Mart, only needing to worry about one form of currency, faster internet connections.... um.... oh, a whole slew of things, really. I am sure there is probably more I will miss about Korea that I can't remember... but... for now... yeah.... what I am going back to will always outweigh what I'm leaving. lol

I just need to make one more shopping trip down to Dongdaemun and I'm all set. haha

Monday, September 11, 2006

random memory from my youth...

One day we were cleaning out our basement (semi-lived in, also stores the laundry room and work-room), and we stumbled upon this one-piece-blue-jean-bell-bottom-halter-top-jumpsuit-thingy that used to belong to my mother. We thought it was HILARIOUS. Being the crafty little devil that I am (this really just means "major dork") I ran upstairs, got an empty bread bag, filled it with air, put it on my head so it stood straight up in the air (think Dr. Suess, or maybe a chef), donned the jumpsuit and ran in circles around the basement singing "I'm one of the Waltons, the Waltons, the Waltons, the Waltons. I'm one of the Waltons..." My sisters and I got a huge kick out of it. (All we knew about "The Waltons" was that it was some old show our mom used to watch back in the day and they probably wore bell-bottoms.)

Adrienne is a HOOT!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006
She gave me a box of mac and cheese and I said "For me? Aww, thanks man." She giggled and said "I'm a GIRL mama!" So I ask her what she wants and she says "Nackercheese!"

This morning she was laying her head on my belly and I told her she better be careful or the baby will kick her head. She sat up and looked at me with a puzzled expression and said "She not kickin' me." So I explained that the baby was swimming around inside me, just like in her book. The lights went on, she understood! "She's swimmin' 'round in da water!" "Yes," I replied. She's soooo smart, I think to myself... riiiight. She's THREE, a smart 3, but 3 nonetheless. "Her have on her bathing suit! And her wings!" "Um, no honey, the baby is naked inside me, we'll put clothes on her when she comes out." "Yeah, we'll put on a t-shirt, and pants!" (Note, we do NOT know if the baby will be a boy or a girl, Adrienne just calls everyone "she")

Children's books

Current mood: chipper

I've gone on a tiny binge this week and bought about 5 children's books for my girls. I got 3 used from Amazon so they were like 1 or 2 dollars each, and then I was looking for another on Ebay and it came coupled with a second book, $7 including shipping, so I figure I made out pretty darn good. lol

The first one I got was "One Green Frog"--our doctor has an oooold copy of it in his office and Adrienne and Angelica fight over it every time we go in. I also found 2 other neat looking books by the same author, "The Little Green Caterpillar" (similar to "The Very Hungry Caterpillar", I like "Very Hungry" better, to be honest), and "I Am An Owl" (which hasn't come yet). They are called "Poke and Look" books because there is a hole punched in each page (large and gradually smaller to the end of the book), and kids like to poke their fingers in them as they read and turn the pages. They're really neat.

When I was driving to pick up Mike this evening I was thinking about animals and books because Adrienne and I were playing the "What does this animal say" game and we got to chickens... "Chickens Aren't the Only Ones." AWESOME BOOK. We loved reading it as kid, we read it till it fell apart. I bet I'm more excited about it than she will be. lol The book that came with is a "companion" book called "Born Alive And Well." I've never read that one but I'm sure it will be interesting.

Another book I bought when I found out I was pregnant with Adrienne (seems so long ago now...) is "What Do You Say, Dear?" I bought it because I loved it as a kid and wanted to read it to my kids. Our copy is getting so beat up now. lol I think somewhere along the road I am going to have to re-buy some of our books. "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" is starting to show ALOT of wear and tear. Some of our board books are on their last legs (counting and letters, animals, etc.). My kids LOVE being read to, and "reading" on their own. I can't tell you how many times I come to check on them while cooking dinner or some other chore and find them pouring over books. Genevieve comes waving books under my nose daily, asking me to read it or tell her what a particular picture is. If they grow up and turn into illiterate oafs I'm going to be so annoyed!


Saturday, September 30, 2006
I am absolutely livid right now. I mean, seriously, I just want to break something or hurt someone. I've cried and freaked out my kids. And there is just nothing I can do but sit and breathe and try to calm down. I hate being angry. It makes me feel like a monster. I can't even put into words how I feel right now. I just want to take my children and go away forever, go someplace where I'll never have to be like this again. My kids should never have to see me this angry. Never. Its not their fault. It makes me even angrier that they have been exposed to such an ugly side of me. Its not fair to them. I hate it.

My kids again

Thursday, October 05, 2006
My kids are such a hoot. Seriously. I know I am always going on about how funny they are, and I am probably very biased, but they ARE soooo cute.

Genevieve was sitting just now, on our bed, with a little plush puppy dog that her Great-Grandma Kane had given to Adrienne (probably a good 2 years ago now, or very close to it). She had my old defunct cell phone (I'll get to that in a minute) and was holding it up to the doggy's ear having a little phone conversation with it. Right now she is looking out the window at the cars in the driveway calling out "Hi Nana!" (to the cars, Nana is inside).

Adrienne is exploring my toiletries and found some lavendar scented foot stuff (fizzy "beads" for a foot soak). She took a whiff and looked at me and informed me that "It smells like medecine." She also claims that most everything that stinks smells like skunk. I'm not so sure she really knows what skunk smells like other than the fact that every time we smell it driving around I make such a big deal about how bad it is. A couple weeks ago we were driving along and an awful smell filled the air, not skunk, and not manure... I don't know what it was... Adrienne exclaimed "It's stinkin' in my nose!"

Army Strong haha

So they Army has changed their slogan AGAIN. Matt thinks the new slogan is pretty dumb. They went from the likes of "Be All You Can Be!" to "Army of One!" to the current "Army Strong!" Matt, of course, takes everything in stride, and usually with a joke. The following is something he said to his sister Maria (I laughed so hard when I read it):

" I love you too!! I'll be looking for the mail you sent. Ohmygosh I hope it is beef jerky. Just kidding anything you send is fine, including C4.

I'll be like "Hey, look a present from my..." BOOOM!!!! Then I won't have to go to work that day.

But since I'm Army Strong I will anyways.

Yes, the U.S. Army changed the motto from Army of One to Army Strong. I seriously thought they couldn't get worse but they did.

I came up with my own slogan.

Too stupid for the Air Force.
Too smart for the Marines.
Too straight for the Navy.


in Korea now...

Korea is much nicer than I expected.... alot different than I expected, too. Not surprisingly the kitchen counters and bathroom sinks are really low. Genevieve can almost turn on the bathroom faucet, Adrienne can do it on her own.Thats how low they are. The kitchen counters don't even come up to my waist (good thing I'm not really tall!). I haven't had much chance to go out and check out the local shops yet, but eventually I will (I have a year!). We live a bit over 3 blocks from the military base, so we get in some pretty decent walks a couple times a week.

As for our apartment, I really do like it. Its funny when you compare the place to American apartments, though. They don't have built in closets here. You have to get free standing closets or armoirs (sp?) if you need to hang or store things.

The bathrooms don't have bathtubs--or stalls for the shower. You go in and its a slight step down into the bathroom, the whole thing is tiled except the ceiling. The shower head is usually above the sink (in our apartment you turn a valve on the sink, there is a hose that attaches to the faucet and the valve changes from one to the other), you can put up a shower curtain to make it a little more enclosed for your shower, but its not built in like that. Its just an open room. I have a "makeshift bathtub" for the girls--a 12 gallon storage bin. lol (And you can't flush your TP! There are little wastebaskets next to the john and you put it in there instead.)

The kitchen is different, too. No oven. There is a stove range that sets on the counter top, often only 2 burners so far as I can tell (it makes me wonder HOW these people cook, I often use at least 3 out of 4 burners). I shouldn't say NO oven, they have them but they're rare. We HAVE one (with 4 burners for the stove instead of just 2) because we moved into the apartment Matt's Captain used to have, but they were leaving, being sent back to the States, and we came just in time to take their apartment without having to search for one--they even gave us a great deal on the furnishings they were leaving behind (so say a prayer for Captain and Mrs. Perry if you would, because we wouldn't have been able to afford this move to come and be with Matt if they hadn't.) Cpt. P. told me that our oven was gold and to make sure someone got it when we leave because you just don't find them every day. The trash system is a bit different here, too. They are very particular about it, which is fine by me. Its quite efficient. And I love the windows. They are just uber cool.

Koreans love kids, they consider children to be "everyone's treasure" and will stop you in the street or store to admire them. Our first day here I was walking down the street and a sidewalk vendor gave me 3 pairs of socks for my kids. Later on that night another woman gave me 3 little handkerchiefs for them. Its a nice change from all the people who usually say things like "Hey, you sure have your hands full!" (or worse... I had one American woman here "suggest" that I was done having kids. I smiled and said, "No, not necessarily." Another one told us she got her tubes tied because one was enough for her. That kind of attitude makes me sad. You don't have to plan to have a dozen kids, but you could at least be open to the possibility of having more than one, right?)

And the best part is being with Matt again. I make him meals, he puts the girls to bed at night, I do his laundry... we get to just BE TOGETHER, and that is what I am most thankful for, time spent together as a whole family. After about a year and a half we are finally together again. And its wonderful. love.gif Matt told me that even when he's having a rough day he just smiles because he knows he's coming home to us and that makes it all worthwhile. Our friends even said they can see the difference in his attitude since we got here (he's MUCH happier). Life is good. It took me a long time to be where I am now (willing to come over here). I was scared, apprehensive, and very selfish for a long time, but God definitely put it in my path (so to speak) that NOW was the time to come and I am completely at peace about it. Making the move was more than worth while. Being apart has made me realize all the little things that I had grown to take for granted (when he left in February to come back here I cried when I was doing his laundry for the last time). I would always strive not to take him for granted, but sometimes you just do, so I am thankful for the time we have spent apart (as hard as it was) because I now have a renewed appreciation for him (living with his parents gave me an even greater appreciation of him as well, and of them. I got to see "first hand" what has made him the man he is, and I am SO grateful to his parents for their guidance and influence on him. They have given me so much in him, more than they realize I am sure.) The hard times definitely give you the chance to put things back on track.

a month? seriously?

I guess this month has gone by faster than I realized. I knew for a while I was in a no-blogging funk. Just couldn't find the motivation to post anything. But here I am. :)

We're all doing well. Looking forward to the weekend (already, I know!). Adrienne is my big helper, Genevieve is getting potty trained, and Charlotte is getting chubby. haha

Adrienne helps me with dishes and mopping floors. She cleans her bedroom (Genevieve "helps," too, which is darling, but Adrienne is actually effective). She even has her own swiffer. I have to be more creative in letting her (them) help me because I am one of those "LEAVE ME ALONE AND I'LL DO IT BY MYSELF" workers. When I want help I get mad if no one does, but if I don't solicit help its usually better to back off. Especially if I'm cooking. I guess I don't mind offers of help so much as things like people coming and "tampering" with my work without asking. I'm kind of a freak. So its a huge lesson in patience to have these 2 little angels always dragging their stools up to the counter and sink to give me an unsolicited hand. Makes me wonder how my mother in law does it, she was always so patient and found something for them to play/help with if they wanted to join her in the kitchen.

Matt bought them a pink inflatable pool and they use that for play and baths. Much roomier than the 12 gallon storage bin that had served as our old tub. lol The girls love it.

Genevieve is actually doing really well with her potty training. We've been doing it for a few weeks now, accidents are few and far between. I still make her wear a diaper to sleep in but I'm beginning to think she doesn't really need it. She wakes up dry. My big fear is really that once I give in and let her sleep without a diaper she'll have an accident and then I'll have a bunch of laundry to do. The laundry system here leaves something to be desired. I've only got a washer and rack to dry on. Which is fine for most laundry... but bedding is a little more difficult and its not worth the hassle to me to drag it up to C. Casey to do it there. Genevieve, meanwhile, is totally cooperative about the whole thing. She never wears a diaper during the day, and sometimes even takes herself to the potty.

My little chubber Charlotte is sitting here drooling up a storm. WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM??? On the one hand I can't wait for her to begin crawling, I think she'll be so happy with a little more "freedom." On the other hand with all the copious amounts of drool I can just see myself rounding a corner and wiping out on a big puddle. lol For now, though, I am happy to have her sitting her on my lap, just happy to be with me.

The rest of this blog is going to be a little TMI, so if you don't want to know don't read any further.

This morning we had an interesting course of events. Matt got up at 5 and got ready for formation and PT as usual. He came home early and kissed me (I stay in bed until he gets back and then usually make him breakfast, unless he just wants cereal). I rolled over a bit and struggled with the idea of getting up (I hate getting up, laziness will be the end of me) when Matt said "Sgt. dismissed me from PT and told me to go home and have sex with my wife." I said "No, really, what time is it? Do you want me to make you eggs?" He laughed and said he was serious. I looked at the clock. He was, indeed, home early. I think I questioned him again along the lines of "No, really WHY are you home so early?" He related what happened.

Well shoot. Who are we to disobey direct orders?

weird dreams

So night before last I had two disturbing dreams. The first one has a little bit of a back story to it, so bear with me while I relate that: A few weeks ago we were at story hour at the library and I heard Adrienne protesting something, I could tell she was upset (I was talking to another mom and A. was sitting in a chair across the room, she'd been playing with the other little girls there) so I turned and went closer and as I approached I saw and heard this little boy yelling in her face about how she had to tell the truth and not lie. Fine lesson to teach, poor way to teach it. I listened for a sec as I approached and heard him yell "You HAVE to tell the TRUUUUTH, DON"T LIE!" And as Adrienne began to protest I said "Adrienne, lets not argue" and before I could get another word out to ask what the problem was the kid says to her, totally snotty, "Yeah, don't argue." I turned to the little punk (ok, so thats a bit harsh, he's only 4) and said "I'm her MOMMY, I will take care of it." Took her by the hand and lead her away from him. Then I knelt down and asked her why she was so upset and what he'd said to her. "He told me my ears aren't pierced!" She lamented (she was almost crying). I consoled her, "He's boy, honey, he probably doesn't even know what having pierced ears means. You DO have pierced ears and you didn't lie. Its ok." I have tried to steer her clear of that boy as much as I can when we're in the same places because I think he's a bit of an antagonist. Its hard, though, because he has a sister and Adrienne loves to play games with other little girls. She'll play with boys, too, but its that princess/ballerina/jewelry thing. lol Anyway, the kid's mom was clueless. I think she saw me taking Adrienne away from her son, and may have seen me say something to him, but she didn't inquire what went on so she may not have realized at all. Heck, if she had she might not have done anything about it anyway. I can see a parent saying "Well he's right, it IS wrong to lie" to defend their own kid. So I have this annoyance about this little boy because I don't like the way he treated my baby, which is probably pathetic of me since he's only 4 or 5 but there is no way I'm going to expose my kids to someone who isn't going to play nice.

ANYWAY, backto the dream. In my first dream Tiffany was here visiting me (love ya Tiff!!) and we were sitting in my living room when this mom and her kids waltz into my house. Tiff and I look at one another and she says, audibly, "What the hell?!" (As only SHE can--anyone who knows her knows what I mean). The woman has a stroller with her youngest sitting in it, and then each of her older 2 kids is pushing their own mini-sized strollers (most people don't have cars here, so we either walk everywhere or take cabs) and all begin unloading bags and bags of groceries--way more than can fit in a stroller, and I know first hand you can chuck A LOT in a stroller. I said, trying not to be offensive, "Um, what are you doing?" And the mom says "Oh, we just thought we'd stop by to visit." Tiff and I exchange weirded out looks. Then she starts yelling at one of her kids, and when I tried to give some words of encouragement to try and calm her down--I forget exactly what I said, something like "Hey why don't you tak a break and come talk?"--she turns on me and starts screaming incoherently, right in my face. Her face was fire-engine-red and I was totally terrified and freaked out. I looked at my stroller and the wheel was broken. I think "Oh shit, how am I going to get out of here and get my kids away from this crazy woman?" So trying to make it look like I'm not freaking out I lay down on the floor (psychotic, I know) and talk with Tiff some more, discussing the broken wheel and what to do about it. The crazy lady (she's not really crazy in real life) turns like NOTHING had just happened and says you can buy replacement wheels down range (off the militry base). Then she comes over and lays basically on top of me and starts saying weird stuff and stroking my face in an attempt to apologize for her insane outburst. I say, "Uh, ok... could you get off of me? I have to go to the bathroom." And then I grab my broken stroller, lightning quick, and Tiff and I race out of there with my kids.

Needless to say it was a little weird seeing them at the library yesterday for story hour!!!! haha

Then in my second dream someone wanted to kidnap my children. I was in a weird building with long hallways and weird narrow stiarcases trying to hide from them. We had an apartment or something there that we were staying in. At one point we went out and I went into this little diner on the other side of the building (it was big) and I heard someone say that we were the people they were looking for so I snatched up my girls and dragged them away as fast as I could. We got lost trying to get back to the apartment, but when I made it back I was alone. Charlotte was inside asleep so I left her there and went into the hall. I saw someone going through to the outside with Adrienne and Genevieve so I shut the door (I didn't lock it, I couldn't find the key) and ran after them screaming and yelling as we got into the street. They let go and left my girls next to the stairs outside the building, so I took them by the hands and ran back to the apartment to make sure Charlotte was still safe. But I woke up before I got there.

The horrible irony of this is that Adrienne got lost in the PX yesterday. She wandered around the corner and was looking at some toys on the aisle end (BOTH Matt and I were there) and got lost coming back.... I mean, seriously, she must have turned the wrong corner, got confused and just wandered. It was like a minute (literally, I had just looked over and watched her playing with the toys she wasn't separated for very long) and she was on the other side of the store. So we had a long talk about staying with Mommy and Daddy so you don't get lost. Its stuff like that, though, that makes you feel like a bad parent. Dang.

On another note, I found a youtube poster that I think is hilarious. If you can get over the fact that he is gay (which is probably why he's so funny) and that you will obviously have some issues on the few occasions he mentions politics--and that one of his favorite words is "bitches"--you'll probably get a kick out of him. William Sledd "Ask A Gay Man." He does these little clips about fashion, which are hilarious. Even if you don't agree with him he's hilarious. I sat down and watched all 40 something of his clips last night. What a waste of time. But it was funny. I mean, yeah, he's got to occasional boring clip, but a lot of them are freaking funny.

It's freakin’ cold out.

Seriously cold. I called for a taxi and we froze our little tushies off waiting for it. They said "on the way" and we waited for at least 15 minutes. It was ridiculous. The guy I finally flagged down.... yeah, I'm pretty sure he wasn't coming for us. lol But, Charlotte's hands are all better (for those not in the know, she burned them on the oven door--the taxi was for taking her back up to the ER to get the burns looked at one last time). No more wrapping them in gauze, yay! (She's also getting in all 4 of her top front teeth.)

We went out to dinner this evening with some Korean friends of ours. The food was reaallly good. We had some mandu (I'm not certain thats how its really spelled, but thats how it sounds), mixed rice, and noodle soup. Soooo good. But, go figure, Adrienne was a Koosner and didn't want/like any of it so then they took us out to Korean Pizza Hut! It was SO nice of them.

Also, this afternoon a friend came over to hang out and we made bunches of cookies together. Good times. :) All in all today was a good day but a loooong one. I can't figure out if this next week and a half is going to go by very quickly or very slowly. Matt is out doing some training exercises and won't be back for almost 2 weeks. One day without the man and I already miss him.

I'm using this blogging time as my 15 minute time, so, taking a few moments to reflect on myself... I have a pretty damn awesome life. For reals. Great husband, beautiful kids. I am content. I am happy. This isn't to brag, but I was thinking.... I dwell on the negatives way too much. I say things, or think them, and the next thought it "Crap. I'm such a bad person." I need to focus on positives. (My word, Charlotte is SO happy to have those bandages off her hands. lol If y'all could see her!) Baking is positive, and motherly. So is sewing, and singing.... I'm trying to do a lot more of those things. They are also theraputic, helps work off some frustration. I must have been stressed out on some level recently, and I know this sounds stupid and girly, but my nails were in poor shape and weren't growing very quickly. Normally they grow really fast--they're not tough as steel, but they grow fast and look nice. And they just haven't been. They're starting to look good again, so I think I'm back to my normal old self... whatever that is. Stress does funny things to us. I didn't think I was stressed, but I think my body has been trying to tell me in various ways and I'm finally picking up the clues. Too bad my brain isn't quite up to speed with the rest of me. haha My contacts are starting to freak out on me a little I should probably go.... and I've spent more than 15 minutes sitting here thinking about random things like why my fingernails must show my stress levels. So whats this mean? My life is great and I'm a freak. I think that pretty much sums it up. lol I'm awesome.

Money.... yellow money

So its been forever and a day since a I blogged. I've thought about it. I've even started one once or maybe twice. But it never came out quite right so I passed on the opportunity and closed out the window.

However, my girls are so funny that I had to share. Right now they are playing a game, Grocery Store I guess. They are taking every can, bottle, and jar off the shelves and stacking it up. "I'm buying this!" Adrienne declares. Then turns to me and says "Give me money! I need money!" Now, for the life of me I do not know where she got that idea, I totally thought those demands didn't come until later in her short life.... like another 10 years at least. But no...

So I say to her, "What do you need money for?"

"To pay!"

"Who are you paying?" I ask.

"I need money!" She insists.

"Yes, but who are you giving the money to? If you're buying food who are you paying?"

She thinks a moment. "The payer girl!"

"Who is the payer girl?"

She thinks another moment. "I am the buyer girl.... Genevieve can be the payer girl!"

Turning to her sister, "You can be the payer girl and I can be the buyer girl!"

Turning back to me, "I need money! I need my JAR MONEY!"

"No, you cannot have your jar money. How about we make money."

She seems to like that idea, so I pull out the construction paper. "What color money do you want? Black, green, pink, yellow?"

"Yellow! I want yellow money."

This is a huge step. Most everyone knows that in Adrienne's world PINK is pretty much the only color that rates. So I make her yellow money. And wouldn't you know as soon as I get that yellow money all cut up for her Genevieve drops a big can of stewed tomatoes on her foot and the game is cancelled. Figures. Amazingly, Charlotte has slept through the entire ordeal. I am impressed.

Now we're playing doctor and Genevieve has an ice pack on her foot. It's ok, but I can see a rainbow shaped bruise where the edge of the can hit her. Owie.


Current mood: exhausted

I've been dealing with head colds and stomach-bugs since Thursday. I'm a little tuckered out. I think what I need is to have a nice glass of wine and sit back and realx with some peace and quiet. Enjoy my time doing nothing. Sounds like a good plan.

I have opened this with no thought out plan of what I want to say, just sort of winging it. I have no real profound thoughts. This is me feeling a slight headache and a little drained. My girls are all in bed--in their beds at the very least, sleeping at the very best. :) The house is nice and quiet.

Mmmm.... back with a nice glass of wine. The past week has been getting to me. Too much time indoors, not enough fresh air... I'm tired, I haven't had a break from any of it. I need Matt. Need to lean on him. How the hell did I do it for a year and a half without him? lol

Girls have been up, had a snack and a drink and are back off to bed... so much for 15 uninterupted minutes. haha Just when I was beginning to focus, too. I can hear them giggling as they settle back to bed. Having a sister is great. They are life-long friends.

After two days of wiping runny noses and being thrown up on... I need to de-stress. If Matt were here I'd ask him for a nice long back rub. And no matter how tired and sore HE was from work, he'd do it for me. *sigh* yeah... I really miss him right now. How does this relate to me? Well, on focusing on me I am very much aware of the pain in the back of my neck and shoulders... he would want me to feel better, he would make me feel better. He wants whats best for me. I wore 4 of his shirts when Charlotte was sick.... that is, Charlotte threw up on 4 of his shirts while I was wearing them. Oops. haha I've done about 6 loads of laundry in the past 2 days.

This is sad, I'm so tired that I'm not even saying anything interesting. This has got to be the dullest blog known to man. BUT, this is my 15 minutes, this is what I was thinking. So... take it or leave it. HA.

15 minute time

So I'm taking my 15 minutes of me time, and decided that since I'd spent about half of it thinking, and some of my thoughts were just too ridiculous not to document_... and I think "I gotta blog this."

I started off thinking about the books I read. Then I started thinking about the books other people read. I like classics. I like some modern authors who have some mystery or suspense to their stories. I like things which I can enjoy and learn from. I like discovering. I like cookbooks. I like art books. I like a lot of things.

What I will never quite get is the allure of cheesy romance novels and sex books. I don't know how someone can walk to the circulation desk at a library with a book in hand that has a cover of a mostly naked couple on it and check it out without the slightest amount of embarassment. Or at the grocery store. Or at the book store. If I were going to read that stuff I'd order it online so no one would know. Or at least so I wouldn't ever have to look the person I bought it from in the eye. I mean, you may as well wear a name tag "Hi, my name is Carla and I read smutty novels."

And then there is sex books. Not just so-romance, but sex. Like "How to achieve the greatest orgasm ever!" That stuff just kind of creeps me out. I'm not certain how these people come to think that they are The Authority on positions and orgasms.... and I'm not certain I want to know.

And this all got me to thinking.... I suppose I can see to a point how people could think they are coming up with something new when they write those fictional "romance" novels. What I wonder about is the people who write the sex books. They must be having a lot of sex to write book after book on the subject. I mean, it's fun, but I don't think I could enjoy it nearly so much if I was going to use it as a clinical trial for my next book. Ew. That would be so degrading. "Hey Honey, lets hop in the sack so I can work on chapter 2!"

15 minutes is up. Peace out. ;)

Le Sigh

Oh my word... I'm so tired. lol Today was interesting. I got a phone call from my friend Jee Sun, we talked for about 25 minutes and during that time she told me our mutual friend had her little girl (one of my girls' best friends) home sick from school today.

Quick insert... for those who I haven't discussed my blogging habits with, I am using this as a tool to take 15 minutes of Me Time--as recommended by my compadre Jim--so if you think that the details of my day or my ridiculous thought processes are a waste of time to read... well, you don't have to read them. ;)

Anyway, as I was saying.... on hearing that her dear friend Bailey was sick today Adrienne exclaimed "We should make her a Sleeping Beauty dress to make her feel better!"

Well, because I am just LIKE this, I happened to have a yard or so of pink satin on hand. I had bought some to make dress up dresses for the girls--I made Adrienne's, but since Genevieve already had a pink one I cut hers out but didn't feel any great rush to sew it--and had a fair amount of extra left over.


I spent my afternoon sewing Genevieve's and Bailey's dress up dresses. Sort of a crazy whim thing, I guess. But, I think that she's going to love it. Adrienne was my model since she and Bailey are pretty close to the same size. I thanked her for her help. haha I know that there was no way she could really know how much work would go into making that costume, but it was a gift from the heart. She wanted to make her friend happy, to help her feel better, and she thought of something beautiful that most little girls love dearly.

My back kills and even though I could complain about it I'm not going to. Because I know that I hurt because I did something to make my kids happy. Bailey, too, but mostly my kids. Because this was what they wanted to do for their friend. (Yeah, even Genevieve jumped on the bandwagon when the idea was put forth.) I was really touched and impressed that they were so concerned with making someone else feel better. It makes me feel good about what I do.

The way I am

So... I'm sitting here thinking.... do I really show everyone who I am, like, really who I am? I don't think so. Even here, blogging, I keep things back. I curb some of the things I would say because I am afraid of offending people. My page is private so only people I allow in can read... but I still don't write with my hair down (so to speak). I suppose thats not entirely a bad thing because some of the things I would say I probably shouldn't (like when I'm angry and want to curse like a sailor). But I don't do that because I'm a good person and I'm just nice... I do it because I don't people to be shocked. I guess, in a way, I am hiding my flaws.

I know that we never really share 100% of ourselves on these things. Seriously, most people don't really have the right to know me that well anyway. But... I guess my point here is questioning my motives why I am not as bold or sassy or open or whatever as I might be when the mood strikes.

I'm not saying I'm a bad person (ok, I kind of am a bad person, but thats not my point), I try to be good... but I'm not nice and sweet because thats always the way I am. Bah... mixed up random trains of thought not making much sense. Not a very productive 15 minutes, but.... at least I'm taking it. Kids are off and quiet and I have a few moments to myself.

The thing that brought this to mind was this stupid survey I filled out. Sheesh. lol Stupid surveys.



I haven’t blogged in a really long time... since the last time I wrote anything we’ve gotten Matt’s OCS class date (finally! Aug.3), but are still waiting on official orders so we’re not sure when we’re going where... final destination GA, but other than that its still sort of up in the air.

I was thinking the other night, as I often do before falling asleep, about some of the most random things... like stuff from the 80s. Trapperkeepers. They were the bomb. I always wanted one. Never got one, but my older sister did. Then the school stopped allowing kids to have them because they were too big or something. Lame. Scratch and sniff. In the 80s freaking everything was scratch and sniff. I kinda miss it. We used to play Frogger on our grandma’s computer, and this other game where you "made" faces... I remember sticking weird mustaches on the guy. I can’t remember what that one was called, though. That was back in the day when WWF was still entertaining--Rowdy Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan, Macho Man Randy Savage, I even remember Andre the Giant wrestling (nowadays most people only seem to remember that he was in The Princess Bride [great movie]).... there were a whole bunch of others I could list off, too. haha (What a nerd I am!) Saturday mornings were the best. lol

And while I’m recalling the fond memories of youth... Today Adrienne gave me a good laugh. I swear, I had fun as a child, but I don’t remember ever being as creative as she is. I climbed trees and named my pet bunnies Cuddly and Spike. She puts on a pair of pants, both legs into one hole, and tells me she’s being a mermaid. She also made herself lunch. Ever-so-proud of herself she showed me her sandwich. Strawberries and mustard. I thought "Oh frick." I told her that she did a really good job, but that if she didn’t like it we could wash off the strawberries and eat them by themselves and we could put something else on her bread, like meat. We wound up going that route. This girl does about a million adorable things each day. I wish I could save every moment. Her sisters, too. They’re all pretty doggone adorable. In some ways I can’t wait for them to grow older so I can see all the amazing things they will do... and in others I want to keep them little and full of joy and wonder forever. They are my angels.

my kids

Lately I am occasionally caught offguard by the coolness of my children. I mean, I know they are awesome, but the rate at which they come up with new, cute, and hilarious things can be astounding.

Lately Adrienne has taken to singing. Both Adrienne and Genevieve sing, but this isn't just any old singing. She's been making up her own songs. Today there was something about princesses, crowns, and the word "mother" repeated over and over. Now... I'd have gone in and asked what she wanted but I could tell she was playing a game, not calling for me. She'd have just looked at me and said "I'm playing a game, Mother!" Basically telling me to go away. lol

Genevieve is ever the stubborn child. She has a very strong will. But she has a very sweet side to her, too. She even gets jealous if Adrienne says she loves me and gives me a kiss. She has to jump in and say "I love you, too, Mommy!" and give me a kiss, too. Of course, I am more than happy to oblige. I love my little Koosners. All 3 of them. Genevieve likes to try and take care of Charlotte. Which really means she sort of mauls the poor kid, and forces her to lay down when she'd rather be crawling. But its all in a sense of older-sister-love so its still cute.

Charlotte gets into all sorts of things. She has favorite corners to play in. She crawls, cruises along furniture, samples table food. She doesn't really take to baby food so much, but I try every now and then. She loves Ritz crackers and chocolate chip cookies.

The other day Adrienne and Genevieve ran up to me with sheets over their heads, gripped under their chins in little fists, so it looked rather like a veil. Adrienne spoke for both of them, "We're being Blessed Mother Mary, Mother!" "Thats wonderful!" I told her.

My kids are AWESOME.

When we go to Mass they pick up the Bibles from the pew and as Genevieve turns pages she cannot read she points and asks "Word of God?" Soooo freaking cute!

Last night I was drinking a glass of wine while I made dinner and some treats to send out to the field for Matt (Cpl. Browne, the mail guy was going to take them for me) and Adrienne came to me complaining about having hiccups. I gave her my wine glass and told her to take a drink. So she did. A big gulp. And as she stood there with her cheeks full of it, not wanting to swallow, I told her "Finish it!" So she did. And then she looked at me reproachfully, shook her head at me and said, "Nasty."
I laughed. "Do you still have hiccups?"
"No," She replied.
"Well then, it worked!" I told her.
She gave me a sly little sideways smile and said, "Did you give me growing up beer?"

the inner workings of my mind

I'm still trying to figure it out. Last night I wrote a decently long blog but then didn't share it because I felt it was too intimate a look into my head. I wasn't really prepared to share that kind of vulnerability. So I just sent it to Matt. Its ok for him to see my vulnerable side. And in admitting I have a vulnerable side is sort of like sharing with everyone else. Not really, but sorta. ("Not really very...." haha)

So thinking on the inner workings of my mind... I wrote my thesis on Edgar Allen Poe. People ask me why, "Isn't he kind of morbid?" Well... duh.... thats kinda the point. There are 4 books I severely regret not sending to Korea. My Bible (which was ridiculously stupid of me to overlook), my Romantic and Victorian literature books (college class required texts but, yes, I still own, love, and read them), and my collected works of EAP. I want to delve in and take a topic out of it.... I think I need a book club, the only problem is I don't think most people want to read the things I would want to. haha

I want my thesis so I can read it. I feel like if I re-read it now it will seem like something someone else wrote. What I really need to do is read something and disect it. Lately I have read books that are entertaining but hardly great literature that you delve into and relish the depth of. I miss that, just a little bit. Not the pressure of having to write a paper, but knowing that I can hack out 5-10 pages and have my opinion be worth something. I proof-read a paper that Matt wrote (he got an A on it, and then he gave me credit for it! Crazy man I married. HE wrote it, I maybe changed a few words around). That felt good... critiquing something. "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" may not be prime literature, but at least I know my brain isn't going to mush.

I don't know how this blog got away from me, I was intending to talk about how me writing about Edgar Allen Poe is somehow very much a reflection of me as a person. Something like that. Some reflection of Me. I mean, I'm not horrifically morbid, but I am drawn to things or do things that most people probably wouldn't expect from me... Like fire, I love fire. We used to joke around and refer to me as a pyro because I used to have about 30 candles in my room. And I hate cats.

I've also decided that I like to cook. I like to whip and mix and stir. I like to bake. I like creating things. I think my desire to create is why I like to make soaps and lip balms and massage oils, too. I want to make beautiful things. I want to unleash my creative side... but I think its got a faulty mechanism. lol

Maybe just writing my thoughts as they come to me is a reflection of Me, though. Maybe thats the point. I think I was supposed to write more because I'm funny.... but I seem to be writing just to share right now... good enough I suppose. Maybe I will be funny later. :P

thats a lot of water...

It's bedtime in the S. household. Everyone is in bed and half of them are asleep. The older two girls each have a cup of water--the sippy cup type that has a straw so it doesn't spill all over the bed. (I will take it away when they fall asleep.) Adrienne drank all hers and brought it out to me for more. I opened the top and told her to go fill it up. She filled it to the top. I replaced the cover and handed it back. Smiling, she takes it from me and says "This is thousands and thousands of water." hehe

Oh, the things kids say.


Sunday worship... it's an interesting thing. I myself am a regular Church-goer. (The very fact that I capitalize Church probably is a huge indicator that I'm Catholic... another interesting thing to note.) I find it (lets be redundant here) interesting to observe people who worship at other churches, too. I've noticed that a lot of Caucasian Christians are a bit more relaxed in their church attire, where as their black (I don't use the PC term "African American", not all black people came from Africa, and in my multi-racial family the black people say black) counterparts are much more in tune with their formal side. Dresses, 3 piece suits and neck ties... a very dashing group of people. They always make me feel a little under-dressed when I see them.

My favorite group to watch gathers in their parking lot first. They stand around their cars and trucks and converse, clad in their Sunday finery. When the time comes they move into the chapel, the pillars standing tall around them. The light dapples over them, and as they move into their favorite spots you see bright flashes of color among the more somber shades. Some of them sit, patiently listening. Some kneel, and still others prostrate themselves. They spend large quantities of money on their adornments. I find it ironic that their place of worship is rather humble in contrast, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose. There is silence, and then a shout. A bright flash of color, someone jumps, someone ducks, someone gets hit. And someone leaves the place of worship earlier than he expected. But it's all in the name of fellowship. And they all come back again next week.

I'm not talking about Baptists, or Pentecostals, or non-denominationals... I'm talking about the folks who worship at the paintball park. They are by far the most humorous group to watch gather.

Monday afternoon ETA: These diligent worshipers were at it from 11 AM yesterday till 6 PM. I know this because I was running a bazillion errands and saw them. haha

Friday, August 22, 2008

I hate html

Ok, I've gone through and edited my posts with html coding so my images will work. That really makes blogging them more of a PITA, but I'll do what I have to. Now I've got some kids to put in bed. :)

Really something...

I know... none of my pictures are working anymore. I'll have to find another way of linking them in future posts. I had to beef up my privacy settings again after stumbling across a MAJOR creep. So... unfortunately my blog has to suffer for his sins. Poor little blog.

In other news my stuff still hasn't arrived from Korea. I called the transportation office yesterday. They called me back this morning to let me know they'd put a trace on our shipment and would call me back to let me know what they find out. It better get here soon. I'm getting annoyed. I want my stuff, my sewing machine in particular.

I need to go buy milk today. I decided that I'm buying sushi, too. Our supermarket has this little corner where Asian women (and a couple of men) roll sushi fresh all day. I can't eat the raw stuff, the slimy texture is too much for me. Maybe one day I'll warm up to it, but for now California rolls and sushi with cooked lobster/crab/shrimp are perfectly fine by me.

Need to mop my floors, too. Matt gets to come home for a few hours this weekend and I don't want the place looking like a dump. I was thinking about him last night... about my friends. And I thought, my friends are great. They comfort and sooth, perk me up. But it's different with him. In my ultra-cheesy blog when I said "he heals me"... I realized last night, in complete sobriety, just how true my alcohol induced words are. After a frustrating afternoon, made brighter by friends, I heard his voice over the phone and I could literally feel the stress lift and tension leave my shoulders and neck. It was kind of a strange sensation, not unpleasant... and I know it's happened before where just talking to him has made me feel 100% better, but I don't think I have ever been so aware of it before.

haha If I keep talking about him instead of this being the "Kate the something" blog its going to be "Matt's really something!"

Saturday, August 16, 2008

The things she says.

She is quite imaginative. She just gave the following monologue:

Ghostes don't come in our house. They can't come in here. They only go in tunnels. And dinosaurs. Dinosaurs go in tunnels, too. Dinosaurs scare me. And Charlotte. And my Daddy.

She would have kept going but, idiot me, I interrupted her.

She's so dang cute

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Ok, so I just saw this in a sidebar ad... oh my gosh. They are fabulous. If I were rich my kitchen would be filled with such baubles.

16 Hands website

drinkin' alone

So tonight I'm tipsy and lonely. Four glasses of wine and no contact with husband for a few days does that to a woman. Or, at least does that to a woman desperately in love with her husband. I last saw him Sunday afternoon. And I missed him the second he was gone. I expected a phone call saying goodnight. No call. I thought, well I DID see him today, so I'll just hear from him tomorrow instead. No call. Dammit, I thought. No call the next day, either. I finally figured they were keeping him too busy to call or had instituted a new rule forbidding phone calls for awhile. This evening he finally called. After a stressful day his voice was like salve to my wounds.

He heals me. He cures me. He comforts, consoles. He loves. He makes me complete.

I know this sounds like some ridiculous tripe out of a cheesy romance novel... but this is my life. He is my life. (Well, him and our kids.) And only to get more romance-y, drinking tends to make me... well, in a word, horny. If he were here I'd probably want to seduce him. It wouldn't take much effort. (cue: laughter) I'd really appreciate just talking to him face to face, but the feel, taste, and scent of him would certainly be welcome.

So, instead of seduction or just contact with husband in general, I took photos. Wine drinking photos. Ya gotta channel that energy somewhere, right? I was thinking, as I photoshopped off a blemish, that it's a good thing I was tipsy. Because normally, under any other circumstance, I'd have seen that picture after taking it and thought "Eesh!" (which, coincidentally, though I do not know the correct spelling, is Korean for "Shit!") and deleted it. But, after taking a couple pictures of the wine filled glass I was inspired and ran upstairs and put on the reddest lipstick I own (which made me decide I need something redder) and took a couple more pictures. I am hoping that I captured something of the glowing warm fuzzy tipsy feeling you get after a couple glasses. It might need more photoshopping to soften the hard lines, it doesn't seem quite soft enough for the image I wanted to project... but the angle is perfect.

And now I'm sober again. Hmmm.... It's ok. Mr. Perfect has staff duty and just signed onto google chat. AWESOME! Forget Mr. Perfect. He's Captain Awesome. And I can chat with him till 2 am. And I will.

wine mmmmmmmm

Monday, August 11, 2008


Today I was perusing my flickr account, checking out some of my stats, etc. And I realized something. People are finding my pictures on google and yahoo searches. I'm a little surprised. When I clicked the link to yahoo the search I discovered that "our little girls" brings up at least a dozen of MY pictures.

Wow. Like. Seriously. Holy shit. It didn't really occur to me that people would google and come look at my pictures. I just figured it was going to be a few random flickr members viewing them. I'm not really an exceptional photographer, I don't expect much attention.

And, OMG, another blogger has a SLIDE SHOW of the pictures I took when I was making a strawberry pie. What's the etiquette on that? Do I message and say thanks? Do you want the recipe? Ignore it? After discovering what appears to be a glasses fetishist site linking to one of my pictures I am beefing up my privacy settings a bit. Shutting down 3rd party searches, I'm still leaving things open to flickr users but not allowing downloads for people who don't have accounts. I genuinely appreciate feedback from other flickr photographers (even if its critical or they tell me my toes are weird), I just don't really like people taking liberties with my stuff. I guess it's to be expected, but I don't have to play along.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

better than nothing

I'm not 100% satisfied with these images, the lighting was poor and (I think) because I used the timer the flash didn't go off as expected. I'll have to do some photoshopping, I guess. Or corner Matt next week for some better shots. I also should have zoomed in more but I wanted to get in the kids standing on the floor...

(I did crop this particular shot just a bit.)

Anyway, today we got to spend a few hours with Matt. They let him take some time to go to Church and whatnot so we picked him up at 7:20 (anyone who knows me knows that I think this is an ungodly hour to be getting out of bed haha) and came home, had a nice breakfast, went to Mass, and then came back home and had some family time before having to take him back

Watching Matt walk from the barracks door to the car... it was an amazing sight. First, I've missed him a lot this past week. Being apart is never easy whether its a week or a year. I hate it either way. But, he also just plain looked freaking awesome. I think I might have drooled a little. You could see the... I can't think of the right words to use here, I want to say pride, but thats not right... maybe confidence? Thats not quite it, either... he just had this air about him. Everyone else outside the building was lounging and smoking, he walked out (carrying his laundry bag) with his head held high, purpose in his step... you could tell this was a man with goals... purpose driven... he is going places. It makes me a little giddy thinking that he's mine. (WOOT!)

When he got in the car he told me that when the others saw the car drive up and him walking towards it they said "Is that your taxi?" (A lot of the taxis on post are minivans) and he said "No, thats my wife." They replied "Oh, man, you're lucky!" They couldn't see me otherwise they'd have known I wasn't a taxi driver. They just thought it was awesome that his wife would come get him first thing in the morning. Well, frankly, what wife in her right mind wouldn't? (I suppose if the man is a jackass she wouldn't, but for the sake of argument he's as great as my husband.) She'd have to be awfully insensitive... or maybe just plain dumb. I was willing to get up at 5 if I had to to go get him (I was thankful when he said 7:20). I mean, when you only have 7:20 till 2:15 are you really going to waste any of that precious little time? I don't think so.

Friday, August 01, 2008


anatomy of weird

So about a week ago I am looking out my window and see a little girl walking into the wooded area between our apartment buildings (I suppose they are more like row houses or something, but this is military housing, so for lack of a better term, apartment), dragging behind her a vacuum. She stops in the middle of the clearing, sets it upright and walks away. I figure at any moment her mama is going to yell out to her to bring that thing back inside, it doesn't belong out there. No calls from mama. And it's still there. Through wind and rain and sunshine.

I edited this picture a little, saturated the colors and fiddled with brightness. I decided that the green was too dull in the shade, it was left looking washed out. This probably just means that I need to work on figuring out more of the settings on my camera, but I'll eventually figure it out. For now, photoshop to the rescue! I also noticed that if you look closely you can seen some sort of bug crawling up the back of the vacuum. At first I thought it was a spider until I viewed the image in its original size. I'm not sure what it is, but there are only six legs, and it looks like there might be small wings. Either way, the whole scene cracks me up. Vacuums in the woods. Who woulda thunk it?

anatomy of weird 2

Thursday, July 31, 2008

I'm just fat.

It would seem that if a woman does not have a perfectly flat stomach she has two options: she can be pregnant or she can be fat.

Within the last month I have had no less than 4 (5 if you count the two women who were together) people ask me if I am pregnant. All women. I thought women were supposed to know better? One of these women even dared to pat my tummy. Oh. My. Word. You just don't do that. Even if the woman IS pregnant.

I am NOT pregnant. Which means... I'm just fat. So, when one of these tactless women asks me "Ooohhh, are you expecting again?" I smile, shake my head and say "No, I'm just fat." They end up more embarrassed than I do. (Irony of ironies here, I see on the side bar an advertisement for "10 Rules of Flat Stomach"!!! LOL)

The reality of the matter is I am a small person. It's in my genes. My mom was thin, my dad was thin (I say was because they are in their 50s now, obviously they have gained some weight since their youth. Not fat, either. Just average. Mom no longer lives up to her high school nickname of "popsicle"). I am mostly thin. I used to be so skinny that a girl in college would crack jokes about it; "If you turn sideways and stick out your tongue you'd look like a zipper!" Sometimes I see pictures of me in my teens and early 20s and think "Holy crap, I look emaciated!" It wasn't that bad, I have always had a good appetite, it's just I've always had a good metabolism, too. Now, 3 kids later....

I gained 50 pounds with my last pregnancy. That's going to leave a mark. And it has. Despite being (dare I post my actual weight here?) 102 pounds and wearing a very small size (you know, like a 0 or a 1) I DO have this little pocket of flab on my belly. Yes, I have belly fat. I don't like it. In fact the state of my stomach has always been an issue I was self-conscious about (I won't dredge up ancient history and explain the why behind that one). But, on the flip side, I'm not really doing much to work it off (I have discovered that making the time to work out is really tough when you have 3 toddlers and I'm just not a "wake up at the crack of dawn" kind of girl). The fact that I still have the flab is probably my own fault, but that doesn't stop me from being self-conscious about it (top that off with the stretch marks that go all the way up to my bellybutton and we have a real winner of a combo there...)

Even with this "flaw" I know I am not really fat. But if you're going to ask rude questions I'm going to give an answer thats going to embarrass the you-know-what out of you. I guess I'm just not nice, but on the other hand, giving that answer also helps keep me from feeling like a fat slob. I have enough body image issues as it is without rude questions being thrown at me.

I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat.

This is me. Being fat. :P

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My baby.

Fresh out of the pool... my baby. She is.... crazy. Don't let that sweet expression fool you, she's a nut. Where my other girls were sweet and dainty, she plows in like a bulldozer. At 16 months she figured out how to climb up on the trampoline all by herself. She's 18 months old now; loves the outdoors and books. She's not very nice to books; she dropped one in the bathtub this morning. I think she eats more than I do. I think she'll enjoy taking pictures as much as I do. She tries to take the camera away from me and sometimes seems to prefer being behind the lens rather than in front of it. I give her my point and shoot to play with.


This is my Big Girl. Adrienne. She's almost 5. Just a few more days to go till her birthday. Dancing is a favorite activity of hers--she's never had a lesson a day in her life but she will tell you that she is a ballerina and proceed to show you her moves.

This shot was taken one evening while we sat out in our backyard enjoying weather that was a few degrees cooler than the blazing afternoon. This and its companion shot are recent favorites of mine. Looking at them I feel like I could almost absorb what its like to be in her shoes (or bare feet as the case may be). She's so vibrant.

oh to be 4...

What I know.

Girls. They're what I know. I have three of them. Little dress-up princes, fairy, ballerina, God only knows what they will imagine next, girls. If I ever give birth to a boy I think I'm going to have a panic attack.

This picture is of my middle daughter. Genevieve is my stubborn one, the one with the attitude. But she can be the sweetest, friendliest thing you ever met. Dress up is a way of life in our house, and this girl takes it very seriously. (Those fancy hands to the side belong to her big sister Adrienne.)

It's time to play, put the damn beads on and lets go be princesses!



I am not really sure why I am doing this... I already have blogs at myspace and facebook (the latter a meager little thing with only 3 or 4 posts), plus a xanga that I abandoned long ago (they're really basically all the same blogs, just copied for different audiences; a brother here, a sister there, a couple friends over that way...). I even considered transferring all my old blogs over here, and then I opted against it. I'm way too lazy for that crap.

I suppose, perhaps, the reason why I'm doing this is pretty simple. Sometimes people join your audience that you don't feel like airing all your dirty laundry in front of... like your mother. Who wants to bitch about their mother when she's going to be reading their blog? I'm pushing 30 man, I don't need my every move being monitored by my mother. Not that she necessarily would, thats just an example. Yes, she is on my myspace and facebook friend lists. I really do love my mother. Really. Even when she drives me a little batty.

Isn't this supposed to be one of those introductory posts? Hi! This is me and this is my life! Yay! Something like that, right? Well... as my profile states quite clearly I am a wife and mother. It's a full time job. My husband is a soldier--he's amazing. I couldn't ask for better. We have three daughters, charming little ladies to be sure. My family is just about the only thing I am well versed in; that is, I'm an amateur at everything else I try. I am a terrible artist, but sometimes I paint. I'm sort of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants seamstress, but I sew. I cannot sing or play a musical instrument--instead I lipsync to my iPod, even singing along is dangerous to my listeners. I love photography, but I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as talent goes--on this, however, I am actually trying to raise myself to maybe lower-mid barrel. I'm actually a pretty good cook. I'm also terrible about these intro things because I'm sure someone else will say "Oh but you're great at this!"

Anyway, this is going to be a catalog of my random thoughts, self-reflection, trials, errors, craft and photography projects, and whatever the heck else I come up with. I don't expect blog-famedom, I'm pretty sure I'm not anyone's idea of an entertaining blogger. I'm just a woman who needs a space. This is my space.