Thursday, July 31, 2008
I'm just fat.
Within the last month I have had no less than 4 (5 if you count the two women who were together) people ask me if I am pregnant. All women. I thought women were supposed to know better? One of these women even dared to pat my tummy. Oh. My. Word. You just don't do that. Even if the woman IS pregnant.
I am NOT pregnant. Which means... I'm just fat. So, when one of these tactless women asks me "Ooohhh, are you expecting again?" I smile, shake my head and say "No, I'm just fat." They end up more embarrassed than I do. (Irony of ironies here, I see on the side bar an advertisement for "10 Rules of Flat Stomach"!!! LOL)
The reality of the matter is I am a small person. It's in my genes. My mom was thin, my dad was thin (I say was because they are in their 50s now, obviously they have gained some weight since their youth. Not fat, either. Just average. Mom no longer lives up to her high school nickname of "popsicle"). I am mostly thin. I used to be so skinny that a girl in college would crack jokes about it; "If you turn sideways and stick out your tongue you'd look like a zipper!" Sometimes I see pictures of me in my teens and early 20s and think "Holy crap, I look emaciated!" It wasn't that bad, I have always had a good appetite, it's just I've always had a good metabolism, too. Now, 3 kids later....
I gained 50 pounds with my last pregnancy. That's going to leave a mark. And it has. Despite being (dare I post my actual weight here?) 102 pounds and wearing a very small size (you know, like a 0 or a 1) I DO have this little pocket of flab on my belly. Yes, I have belly fat. I don't like it. In fact the state of my stomach has always been an issue I was self-conscious about (I won't dredge up ancient history and explain the why behind that one). But, on the flip side, I'm not really doing much to work it off (I have discovered that making the time to work out is really tough when you have 3 toddlers and I'm just not a "wake up at the crack of dawn" kind of girl). The fact that I still have the flab is probably my own fault, but that doesn't stop me from being self-conscious about it (top that off with the stretch marks that go all the way up to my bellybutton and we have a real winner of a combo there...)
Even with this "flaw" I know I am not really fat. But if you're going to ask rude questions I'm going to give an answer thats going to embarrass the you-know-what out of you. I guess I'm just not nice, but on the other hand, giving that answer also helps keep me from feeling like a fat slob. I have enough body image issues as it is without rude questions being thrown at me.
I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat.
This is me. Being fat. :P