Kate the... Something...

Life is precious.

2012-01-26T17:19:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I'm having delayed reactions or getting hormonal, but I read the facebook status of a friend who's grandfather passed away this morning and now I'm really fighting off crying. I'd go tell my husband and probably really actually break down, but he's napping and I'd rather now bawl my eyes out right now. So I'm dumping this here instead. It's cathartic. Sue me. Anyway, it just got me thinking about my Granny (great-grandmother-who passed away on the 17th). I haven't cried yet, mostly I just felt really sad for my grandfather because I know her death was really hard on him and happened only one day before the anniversary of the death of my grandma and aunt (his wife and daughter). I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself, I guess. I didn't get to go to her funeral. I hadn't seen her in a few years. And I really regret that my kids didn't get to know her better.

Pretend

2012-01-05T17:32:00.000-04:00

I'm just going to pretend that October was NOT the last time I actually updated this sad little heap of a blog. Life has been busy. We went on a long road trip for a wedding and then Thanksgiving. When we got back home we began preparing to move into a new house. As soon as we were in the new house it was Christmas and we had company in town for the holiday. It's just been one big thing after another. Not that I'm complaining, it's all been grand for the most part (with a few minor hiccups), it's just been busy and sitting and thinking and pretending to be creative has gone TOTALLY to the wayside.

The other night I was on skype with my sisters and brother. As we were talking I was cooking (I don't even remember what... cookies, I think) and I kept showing them my ingredients. I like to tease them with all the wonderful things I make. I figure maybe some day it will convince one of them to come visit me for a change (frankly, being the one doing all the long distance driving gets frikkin' old fast). My brother told me he could see me as one of those people who does food blogging. I told him I would if I actually had any original recipes to share. But then I thought about it again, and ya know what? I could totally blog what I cook anyway and just say "this is a family recipe, I don't know where it came from" or "I took this from XYZ cookbook." Not that I plan on converting this to a food blog, I have way too much random shit in my life to do that. But, along with adding more photography when I get off my ass and apply myself to the task, food blogging might be fun. And I would get to reap the rewards in a very real way. Kill two birds with one stone. Or three birds. Dinner, photography, and blogging.

It's a thought.

Amazed. Really.

2011-10-12T21:24:00.002-03:00

Tonight it's Castle and cocktails. And if I am still inclined to watch more I'll just move on to something else. I have no idea what... Matt is playing his new PS3 game--pre-ordered birthday gift for him so he got it on the release day instead of on his birthday--which means the TV will be busy for some time to come. So no Netflix unless I use my computer.

I just had to tell my 4 year old that she needs to wear pants with her night gown because she's gotten so tall and it's way too short. That's one of the things I never really figured on having to say to kids.

Speaking of pants. Today I am wearing some capri leggings and a longish shirt. I wasn't really concerned with just how long it is because I didn't go anywhere except out in the yard to play with the kids today. My husband comes home, we eat dinner, and I am standing at the sink washing dishes when he comes out and says (you ladies are going to howl over this one) "Why does it look like your butt is sticking out farther than normal?"

Yes. He really said that.

I told him "Because I'm wearing skin tight pants and a shirt that doesn't come down far enough to cover my ass. And for the record, that's one of those things that you shouldn't really ever say to a woman."

He defended himself saying he'd only said it because he liked it (maybe TMI, but on the other hand if my husband didn't like my ass we'd probably have some issues) and that he'd never say it to someone else. I laughed at him.

Ok, OJ, vodka, Midori, and Chambord. DELICIOUS. You can thank me later. ETA: I forgot I added a couple ounces of 7up for a dash of carbonation. I made a second one and didn't add it, and then remembered and added it to the second half of the drink. It's better with the 7up.

Just me

2011-09-30T22:08:00.000-03:00

If I swore as much on my blog as I do in real life I'm not sure I'd have other real words.

I'm just kidding. I'd have a few other real words.

I'm watching Parks and Recreation and laughing till I nearly wet myself. If I was faster on the uptake this entry would be nothing but P&R quotes.

I'm drinking a Sam Adams and eating chips off the floor.

I only ate two off the floor. The rest are in the bag.

If it weren't 9 pm I'd make myself chorizo bean dip, but I'm settling for salsa because I feel like it's too late to cook.

My kids are still up.

I'd prefer more beer.

And this concludes my random thoughts in 2 minutes.

2011-09-27T12:35:00.000-03:00

Yesterday we skipped school except for some basic reading and made the haul (all 45 minutes of it...) to the city to get some things I can't get here in our rinky-dink town. I love that about homeschooling. Technically we weren't going to skip, but we wound up getting home a lot later than I expected. It wasn't a tremendous deal because we're making up the difference today and will still be done earlier than the local schools. That's a win for me.

The other night I cut out the paper pieces for all three dress up dresses. Last night I cut all the fabric for Adrienne's dress. I figured she, out of all of them, could use it the most. The other girls still fit into all the dress ups we own, she really only fits into one or two. I am planning to start sewing tonight after I put the kids to bed. They don't have any idea what I've been up to. They know I am supposed to be making the dresses sometime but they haven't actually witnessed any of this happening. I'm hoping I can surprise each of them with a finished dress. They'll probably poop their pants.

In other super exciting news, I've been trying my hand at crockpot oatmeal. (HA! You suckers really thought it was going to be exciting, didn't you?) When you wake up it feels like you magically have breakfast made and you didn't have to do a thing. Except you really did it before you went to bed at midnight... and you don't usually eat breakfast, it's for your children. Still. It's awesome having it totally done in the morning.

When we were in the city yesterday I had to hunt down a liquor store that carries locally made wines for a gift basket. It occurred to me to wonder what they must think of a woman coming in with 4 children skipping along behind her. I imagine their thoughts ran something along the lines of "Whoa, four whole tiny humans! She must really need the booze to cope!" My kids were delighted with the lifesize statue of Captain Morgan, too. At least the kids didn't recognize him. Then the storekeepers really would have thought I have a problem.

With the way the boy is behaving right now I am thinking they might be right... there's nothing wrong with a white russian for lunch is there? Lots of calcium...

Today's adventure

2011-09-22T19:24:00.000-03:00

Today I am working on building a turtle cheesecake. I've never made this before and I'm using my friends as guinea pigs. We've been invited to their home for dinner tomorrow night. Here's hoping it doesn't suck. haha Seriously, though, it looks pretty awesome so far. And that's with the help of children and a glass of wine. Go me!

Tonight I also have to begin laying out and cutting pattern pieces for THREE lovely dress up dresses that I somehow managed to promise my girls I'd make for them. In my mind I was thinking "awesome Christmas presents!" and they decided it'd be for HALLOWEEN. WTF, kids? Thanks for ruining my slacker plans.

Back to work...

2011-09-19T11:59:00.000-03:00

This morning my kids are seated around the kitchen table dutifully doing their math... well, sort of dutifully, they are way too easily distracted. (No, they don't have ADD, they're just flighty little girls.) I, too, have put my nose to the grindstone and am organizing their worksheets for the week. Reading has already been done, so hopefully we can finish up the math in record time and go to the store before it;s a madhouse.

The boy is climbing up my back trying to steal the cookies off the shelf next to me--one of my last boxes of Samoas. Yeah, that's right, I bought 16 boxes of girl scout cookies and have been hoarding them since before Easter. The only reason they haven't lasted me till next Easter is because my husband discovered my stash and my supply has been rapidly declining in the last 2 months. Next year I will have to buy 20 boxes...

As I sit here copying page after page for these kids I can't help but wish I had one of those badass office copy machines that just suck in the pages and spit them back out, do front and back, and coallate your pages automatically. I have no idea where I'd put such a monstrosity in my house, but it would be the most useful homeschooling tool I owned if I had such a thing. Now my scrawny HP all in one printer looks even crappier.

Random Memory

2011-09-14T23:03:00.000-03:00

When I was in college I used to make mix CDs for my younger siblings back at home. On one such CD I put Dexy's Midnight Runners' "Come One Eileen." This evening I had iTunes going on my computer while I puttered around and that song came on.

I've listened to it dozens upon dozens of times over the years, but tonight I remembered, quite out of the blue, having given it to one of my sisters.

When I came home for one of my breaks she played the CD I'd given her and sang along, "I'm gonna hump this chick forever!" Hilarity ensued and I spent a considerable amount of time trying to convince her that it's "I'm gonna hum this tune forever!"

And tonight I sat in front of my computer laughing like a maniac for no apparent reason because I remembered that one little instance. I love my siblings.

Reflections and realizations.

2011-08-06T00:25:00.004-03:00

Today I (sort of) spent a day in the life of a family ridden with food allergies. I have a friend, J, who's 8 month old baby girl has been diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis and allergies to gluten, dairy, nuts, soy, and eggs. Since J's breastfeeding she can't eat those things, either. And because this is going to be a problem for P's whole life the entire family has switched their diet to be allergy free. Our husbands work together and Matt told me that J's husband has been bringing his lunch to work and eating there. He isn't straying from the diet even when he could be. I told Matt that I was really impressed because there is no way I'd expect that of him.

Anyway, all those restrictions pretty much wipes out my entire repertiore. Anyone want a hunk of meat? No marinade or condiments! (Actually, I guess I could whip up a marinade, but that takes away the fun of being dramatic.)

Tomorrow is Adrienne's 8th birthday and my darling girl (obviously) wants a party with her friends. I invited a few families, including the Allergy Family. And, because I like to think I am a conscientious hostess, I'll be damned if I'm going to leave my guest with nothing to eat but a naked hamburger patty. There's nothing I can do about the birthday cake, my girl wants chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and she's getting it, but I am putting plenty of other options out there.

Because I am OBVIOUSLY not an allergy free cook I washed and re-washed all my utensils and bowls before I prepared any of her food in them. I double checked my baked beans to make sure they were allergy free. I googled which brands are gluten free. I bought potato chips that are safe (no soy or peanut oils). I even made sure my ketchup didn't have soy in it. I made buns that are allergy free--they are dense and really different from what you'd normally imagine plopping a burger on, but they aren't bad (they were actually really good with butter and jam but, since she can't have butter, I'm not going to tell her that). I made vegan rice milk ice cream and a gluten free apple pie. Girl can't have cake but she's getting her dessert!

Now, to get to the real point. I didn't go through all that to toot my own horn about what a great friend I am. I busted my ass and I'm exhausted. It gave me a new appreciation for how EASY I have it that I don't have to do this every day. I am in awe of women like J. She once told me that one of her favorite things to eat is a fried egg sandwich. I know for fact that she loves dairy. I'm pretty sure she can't eat fake vegan cheese because (I think) it's made with soy. Options are slim, but she is SO positive and has given up so much for her child. It definitely puts my minor issues into perspective. Even when Genevieve's eczema was at it's worst all I had to do was switch to scent free soaps and detergents. When she had her Pavlik harness it looked funny but it didn't make anything harder, it fixed her.

I might (forget might, I DO) complain a lot about piddly things like my house not being clean enough, but at least our lifestyle is EASY. I can order pizza and eat off paper plates and not worry about my child getting seriously ill from it. So, God, thank you for that. And for all the other bazillion blessings in my life. Also, thanks for the reminders that it could be a lot tougher.

If any random readers out there have any recipes that fit the "allergy free" criteria listed above feel free to share them in the comments or post them at the Payton's World website: http://paytonsworld.us/Home_Page.html She has a forum and a guestbook, so if you don't feel like registering for the forum I think you can post it in the guestbook. (I haven't tried so I don't know if there is a character limit).

My boy.

2011-08-01T14:27:00.007-03:00

Xander drives me crazy. He climbs and gets into things. He messes. But he also loves. I mean, he straight up tackles, hugs, and smothers with kisses. A little while ago he was treating me to this display of affection and he did something that I totally love. He, climbing on my back and popping his head around to give me kisses on my cheeks, started calling me "honey." He does it because he wants me to call him honey. The adorablest part is how he says it: "honnay." It cracks me up. I play along just so I can hear him say "Honnay!"

Funny little moments like that make up for the times when he floods the kitchen or stands in the bathroom sink and throws the contents of the cabinet all over the floor.

I love it when...

2011-07-30T19:35:00.000-03:00

I really love it when my husband helps out and just does things when I ask. I ask a lot and he always does it... if he hears me. Often I say something like, "Someone needs to wash the lid to this trashcan. It looks like someone threw up all over it. It's nasty."

I, of course, know eventually it's going to be me, but right now I am busy getting food ready to grill so I ignore it for the time being. I ask Matt to make the bacon for our fabulous bacon-blue-cheese-burgers (the kids had cheddar), he begins cooking it while I go out and throw the meat on the grill.

What I am pleasantly surprised by, and extra appreciate, is that when I come back inside to throw away the meat wrappers I find that he has thoroughly scrubbed the trash can lid. It's the little things in life that make you feel super special. Sometimes it's a foot rub, or an ice cold drink. And sometimes it's not having to plunge the toilet your son clogged with a whole roll of toilet paper, or not having to wash the barftastic trash can lid.

Back in May...

2011-06-20T00:56:00.000-03:00

My boy turned two back in May. I am finally getting around to creating a pictureful post to commemorate his two years of life and the joy he has brought us. get your scroll finger ready! (pardon the fuzzy shots, some came from my phone)

This is where it began. They didn't tell us but we were damn sure he was a girl. Whoops...

A few months later I was given this amazing little creature. Shockingly born with man parts.

It was love at first sight. Loved by one and all. Even the girl who cried every time we said "but what if God gives us a boy instead of a girl?"

The boy grew, and he was damn cute.

And sweet. And perfect.

Before we knew it he was crawling and sitting up.

It wasn't long before he was walking and showing us how much he loved to be outside (his face doesn't convey that in the second picture, so you'll just have to trust me that it's true).

He was a real charmer. The kind of boy you invite home for dinner to meet your folks.

He's also a mess-maker, and if I didn't love him so much I'd probably go crazy. Jim was spot on, though, this boy loves his peanut butter.

But he cleans up nice.

Halloween.

Christmas.

I'm losing my chronological order here, but there are shots I love that I can't bear not to share.

He's dirty, and looks a little stubborn, but I love this picture of him. I have it hanging on my living room wall.

This always makes me grin. Every time. Whatever it was that made him cry, I don't even remember anymore, but it was harmless enough to take pictures instead of console him. In fact, he was probably crying because I wouldn't let him take my camera. He likes to try.

A day at the beach this March. The wind was chilly and he was soaked, but he loved every minute.

And, really, what's not to love about this scenario?

It actually happens pretty often...

Working hard with Mommy.

So happy to be with Daddy.

Muscles!!

Hanging with his Big Sissies.

My dapper little gentleman.

A bunch of adorable moments.

His wild hair a few weeks ago.

And now after his latest haircut. Handsome. Charming. A turdy little trouble maker. And he's all ours. Happy 2nd birthday to my little love.

Fathers.

2011-06-18T22:52:00.001-03:00

Today we took a family day and went into the city. We took the kids to lunch at a nice deli, and then for a walk along the river to hit up the candy stores. We had a wonderful day. But, on the way there we were listening to the radio... I don't know what station or program it was because my husband changed it and it wasn't one of my pre-sets. They were talking about fathers. There were two stories in particular that really got me thinking. The first was a girl who talked about a letter she'd gotten from her father, written before he passed away. She said it was the most sincere thing he'd ever said to her. The other was from a man who'd lost his father as a boy, and how now as an adult and parent he tried to look at things from what must have been his father's perspective.

It got me thinking about my own father. I've noted in the past that we don't have a relationship at all, really. There were plenty of "I love yous", but incidents over the years led me to doubt the sincerity of his words. I think the most sincere thing my father ever told me happened when I was 13 years old.

Dad had called me out and told me that there was some venison that had gone bad in the kitchen and to take it over to my grandfather's house next door and feed it to his animals (he had various cats and chickens around the property). I went out, found the bag, and did as I was asked. When I got home my dad was livid. He'd neglected to tell me there were two bags, one rotten and the other fresh and marinating. He threw the rotten bag of meat to me and made me take that one out. I got yelled at pretty good, I was upset and crying as I did the chore.

When I came back he'd mellowed out, apologized and told me he loved me. Then he told me something else, something I don't think he ever told any of my other siblings. I don't even know if he told my mother. We've never talked about it. He said, back in the late 70's when he'd gotten out of active duty Army he had had a girlfriend. She'd gotten pregnant and aborted their baby. She never told him until after it was all over. He said that at the time he didn't know why it was wrong, he just knew that somehow it wasn't right. It devastated him. He went home to his room and cried and cried. That child would have been about 2 years older than I am. I forget exactly how he made the transition from that to this next part, but he went on to tell me that sometimes when he got angry, especially with my aunt and uncle who lived next door, he thought about that baby. He thought about how difficult it had been for him to provide for our large family, and how easy it was for my aunt and uncle. That made him angry and jealous.

I told Matt about what I was thinking in the car today. I'd told him that story before, but he hadn't realized how young I was. I cried when I retold it today. I don't know if it was for me or for Dad. Maybe both of us. I'm still not really sure Dad understood the root of what he was telling me. I'm not sure I am. The most sincere thing I think my father ever told me wasn't how much he loved me, but of the gut wrenching grief he experienced when he found out that that woman had killed their child.

Normally...

2011-05-30T21:20:00.000-03:00

Normally I don't like to complain... and this isn't really a complaint per se, so much as it is a small discourse on being grateful. ...I think.

I am now officially 2 weeks post deployment. I never talked about deployment and separation during the fact because I don't like to publicize when we're here alone. It weirds me out.

Having Matt home is amazing and wonderful. And a little surreal. It's nice having someone else to take the trash out. And play with the kids at the park. And let me take naps. I didn't like to complain about him being gone or doing everything on my own because I feel like that's a crappy tactic. We chose this lot in life together. Being there for our kids and filling in when Daddy is away is my job. I never thought it'd be a cake walk. I'm not going to simper and complain about how hard it is. You just take one day at a time and do what you gotta do.

But dang it's nice that it's over. Xander has a new hero. Or an old hero restored. I'm not sure, probably a bit of both. But he's super stoked and thinks Matt is the best thing in the whole world (I have to agree). I love it. I love watching the girls pal around with him. They think everything he does is amazing. It makes my heart happy.

Lessons

2011-05-06T00:08:00.000-03:00

This blog is like a lesson in neglect. I have had no motivation or inclination to write lately.

Today I took the kids to the beach. We doubled up on school yesterday so that we could take today off and just have fun. Adrienne made her first Confession this evening, and Sunday she will make her First Holy Communion. I figured that's something worth celebrating. It was a windy day, and the wind was chillier than it's been in a long time. We still had a blast. Xander started the day out running from the breaking waves. By the time we left he was cackling and giddy letting them splash up to his ankles. The girls ran back and forth, we found 7 dead jellyfish. Rarely do we see one, 7 was crazy.

I hurt my shoulder picking Xander up during Holy Week. I've been a lazy wretch ever since, barely working out. The last couple days I've been trying to pick up the pace as much as possible. I hate this lazy feeling. I find this humorous since I never used to work out at all, but since getting into the swing of my 5 days a week I don't like letting it slide. I still can't do weights, but I'll do what I can until my shoulder gets back to normal.

I hate spring today

2011-04-18T11:08:00.000-03:00

I woke up with my eyes itching. It happens from time to time, I am used to it. What I am irritable about, though, is that my actual eyeball is swollen. Not the eyelid, like usual, but my freaking eyeball. It feels creepy and gross. I already popped a Zyrtec and I've got washcloths on hand to help sooth and hopefully make the swelling go down.

I look like some sort of alien monster. I kind of feel like one, too.

Be warned.

2011-04-15T11:50:00.001-03:00

If I hear one more person say that possible government shutdowns and no pay for troops isn't a big deal "because eventually they'll get their back pay" I will probably bitch slap them. You try raising 2-3 kids on an E2-E3 pay grade and see how happy you feel about the prospect of possibly not getting paid for God only knows how long. Back pay "eventually" doesn't help when your baby is out of diapers, you ran out of milk, and your rent is due.

Real people. Real bills. Real problems. Thank God the gov got their ass in gear at the last possible second. But for reals, had this happened so many people would have suffered. It infuriates me to see insensitive people making ignorant comments.

Rant over. Thanks.

Differences

2011-04-13T01:10:00.001-03:00

It's kind of a weird thing to sit and think about our family and acknowledge that you come from a broken home. My parents were married for 25 years before they split up, divorce becoming official a couple years later. I remember my childhood as having been "normal" in the sense that both my parents were present. I think I was probably ignorant or in denial for a long time about my dad being a tool. I have fond memories of my youth, some of them involve him, but most revolve around my siblings. My mom was stretched pretty thin but I know she tried hard and, I think, tried to shield us from the worst of what my dad was. Is. As a parent I want to avoid everything I think they did wrong, or do better where I think they could have done better.

That said, though, I know I have a lot of qualities that come from my dad. I want to be able to use those without being disgusted that it comes from him. I think I manage pretty well with that. Most of the worst of home life didn't happen until I was already grown and out of the house. It's easier for me not to think about it. I can still embrace things about myself that I know are most likely traits I inherited from my father. That's probably a little harder for some of my younger brothers and sisters.

What prompted these thoughts this evening is that my beautiful children broke my TV remote. Not such a big deal except that it makes volume control a pain in the ass. So after banging it on the edge of the table a couple times, shaking it around, swapping batteries I decided in one last ditch effort before buying a new one to take it apart. I didn't do much, didn't fiddle with any electronic junk, just popped it apart blew it off, put it back together. And it magically worked. This, I know for fact, is a trait that comes from my dad. My mother, who readily admits it, is "not mechanically inclined" (her words, not mine). Once the dishwasher was wobbly, I think she knew exactly what needed to be done (a screw was loose at the top and needed to be tightened) and just couldn't figure out how. I, 7 months pregnant, grabbed the drill and did the job. She was very appreciative. But, this is just one example of how I know any skill I have with a hammer or screwdriver does not come from her sweet blond soul. There are traits that I share with almost all of my siblings... that my mother does not possess.

I catch myself saying or doing things my mom did all the time, but there are times like tonight when I am reminded of all the things I have in common with a man I haven't seen in over 4 years, and not spoken to in at least 3. And I am not under any delusions (or is it illusions?) that it'd be nice to see him again. Frankly, there is just no desire to go there. I don't know if that makes me a bad daughter or just a disillusioned, jaded one. But that's where I stand today. I don't hate him. Sitting here talking about him I feel nothing. Maybe pity that his own actions have brought him to such a place (and worse) with his children.

I hope that never happens to me and mine. They are precious to me, it'd break my heart.

The things kids say...

2011-04-08T12:35:00.008-03:00

I remember once when I was a little girl, no more than 7 or 8 (I actually think I may have been younger than that, but I can't recall exactly how old I was), my mom asked me what I would do if my kids were disobedient and didn't do what I told them to. I remember saying, with quite a bit of determination (because I was trying to come up with the most horrible punishment possible), "I'll beat 'em till they bleed!"

Violent little creature, wasn't I?

Well, it so happened she asked me that question because I was being disobedient. My mother had told me to clean my room and I was out goofing around instead of cleaning. She very calmly said to me (something along the lines of, though I am pretty sure it was nearly exactly), "Well, Katie, if you don't go clean your room I'm going to have to beat you till you bleed." (I believe I may have sputtered about unfairness, but she had me cornered since the punishment was my own invention.)

I probably didn't do exactly as I was told and I probably got a spanking for it. But I know eventually that room got cleaned and I was not beaten till I bled.

No worries, I haven't and do not intend to inflict that punishment on my own children. But, remembering that conversation with my mom so many moons ago I posed the same question to my kids, just for kicks.

Adrienne resolutely said "I'd ground them!" I guess she sees that as the worst punishment possible. I think sometimes she'd rather be spanked than grounded because at least the spank is over and done with. Grounding is deprivation from all manner of fun things, most especially playing outside with friends. Which she lives for.

Genevieve said, with a big grin, "I'd send them to their room and make them clean up their messes!" (this from the kid who lets her big sister do the majority of the work!) I then asked her "What if they are naughty and don't clean their room?" "Then I would ground them!" she replied.

I asked Charlotte and she said "I don't know." Then I asked her all manner of things (including grounding, spanks, and kicking down the hall) and she replied yes to all of them. She is clueless.

Xander just hopped around on my bed.

The kids spent yesterday friendless because they were grounded because they didn't listen and obey that morning when they had work to do. Grounding is invariably the most effective disciplinary tactic for my kids because it deprives them of play-things they love the most; friends, movies, video games, playing outdoors. I feel like either way I go with this I could catch flack, but I'm going to forge ahead and say that I am not some hippy that's opposed to spankings. I utilize it when I have to. It's just not as effective for my kids. It might have to do with their personality types... probably has a lot to do with it, actually. Grounding didn't mean particularly much to me as a kid. When I was spanked I knew it was because I had done something wrong, and I always knew exactly what it was that I'd done. And I think every instance but one was totally justified (it was my brother's fault, I swear).

Today they are free to run as they please, just as soon as math is done. I suppose I am thankful that my children are not as blood thirsty as I, apparently, was. (I may have to talk to Matt about this and see how he would have reacted as a child. I feel certain they take after him the most.) Even when they are naughty they are very sweet kids.

Signs of the times...

2011-04-07T20:24:00.002-03:00

It's definitely time to kick potty training into high gear. Xander has been (repeatedly) stripping naked and peeing on my floor.

This evening I offered to let the kids watch a movie before bed. Genevieve got outvoted 2-1 for Tangled. (She loves that movie so I don't know why she didn't want to watch it tonight.) After the chorus of "Rapunzel!!!" from Adrienne and Charlotte Mr. Naked started shouting "Punzel! Punzel!" I don't think he really knew what he was asking but it made me decide that we need to start watching things like Cars and The Incredibles more often (forget that the last 3 movies we watched were all Megamind). This poor boy is inundated with girly crap. Granted, he's still very masculine, but there's nothing like your son calling for Rapunzel to make you switch gears and invest in some pirates and race cars.

Being a mom to a pack of girls and then having a boy is a real shock to the system. When he was born I was stunned that we had a boy. When I was alone with him that first day in the hospital I'd nurse and change him and shake my head and whisper "What the hell am I supposed to do with you? I think you were supposed to be a girl." I'd like to think I've done pretty well so far. He loves his toy balls and cars and guns. He likes to growl and punch. But every now and then I have a "Punzel!" moment and I decide that we need more manliness in our daily life.

I think tomorrow I will arrange a boxing match. And ban pink for the day.

Just a link...

2011-03-28T14:27:00.000-03:00

My good friend the Diatribist posted this link her on twitter account today. I thought it good enough to spread around.

What your daughter wears matters.

Shameless plugs for the Diatribist. Because I love her.
Diatribist on Twitter

I couldn't ask for better.

2011-03-26T20:06:00.000-03:00

My oldest child is a joy to me (they all are, honestly, but she's been shortchanged on the blog stories lately so it's her turn to shine today). Adrienne has the sweetest disposition. She loves to read, frequently telling me it's her favorite thing in the whole world. Any day that's a good day is often proclaimed to be The Best Day Ever. She wants to be a scientist (a few months ago she was still intending to be an artist... I think she's keeping that on the back burner for now).

She intends to have a science room in her house when she grows up and teach her children science and math and reading. She drew me a picture of her as an adult in her laboratory. It cracked me up. She had funnels and beakers and everything. It was awesome. She said her children will only be allowed in there if she is in the room to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't do anything dangerous.

Yesterday I was going back and forth with their school and other tasks. While I was away from the table Adrienne took over reading Genevieve's instructions for her math so G didn't have to wait for me. She likes to help teach G to read, too. She is a marvelous little helper. I was taking Xander to the potty and getting him ready for his bath and asked the girls to clear the table off. I fully expected to have to put away the food and wipe the table off (because even though they try it's always a bit sticky when they are done). Adrienne did everything but load the dishwasher. Even the leftovers were nestled in the fridge in tupperware containers.

She's such a super kid. I know she must get her disposition from her father. He's generally pretty laid back and mild. He picks his battles. She can be a whiner at times, but more often she's just a nice kid. She's never been a bully or bossy. When she was really little she preferred nudity. Then she discovered dress ups and spent the next few years in tutus and princess dresses. It boggles my mind a little when I think about it. It seems like it was such a short while ago that she was Xander's age. Naked and potty training. And now she's turning into a lovely young lady.

She is currently preparing for first Confession and Communion. I don't know where the last seven years went. I am so proud of her and yet a little sad at the same time. She'll never be as innocent as she once was. She gets smarter and more mature with each passing day. But at least she's still as sweet as ever.

Pet owners.

2011-03-22T19:04:00.001-03:00

Inconsiderate pet owners are a giant pet peeve of mine. If you have pets and love 'em, good for you, I am happy for you. But for the love of all that is good and holy clean up your pets poop.

I get so sick and tired of watching people let their animals urinate on my lawn where my children play. I hate having to dodge giant piles of dog crap when we go on walks. I had a neighbor who used to let their dog poop in my yard. I took to flinging it back in their yard. I don't let my kids poop or pee in anyone's yard (and wouldn't let my animals do it either if we happened to have something bigger than a beta), why in the hell would it be ok to let your pet defecate in mine???

I don't consider myself an animal hater, but I am a very long way off from being an animal lover. They are fine as long as they don't invade my space.

I swear if I could catch the culprits in the act of leaving their animal's poop on the sidewalk I'd stalk them home and leave it on their doorstep.

I hate dog poop.

Back to the grindstone

2011-03-22T13:12:00.000-03:00

The last 3 weeks have been spent pretty leisurely. I am finally getting back into the swing of my regular workouts and "strict" homeschooling.I cleaned house last night and steam cleaned the carpets. Spring cleaning? Maybe. The weather is beautiful and I'm loving it. I want to hurry through all the necessary stuff every day so that the kids and I can spend as much time as possible outdoors.

Matt shared this quote with me today, Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly. (George MacDonald) He said as soon as he read it he thought of me. It makes me feel like a giddy school girl. haha To be that important to someone is a very special thing. I am glad I have that with him, and that every bit of it is mutual. I pray that other people can have this on some level, with their family, spouse, or children. Right now I am watching my friend's marriage fall apart, and while I honestly believe that leaving her is the best thing for him and his children (and I don't say this lightly because I believe marriage is a sacrament and you don't just toss it aside willy nilly), it's hard because I wish that they had what we do. But, he is an amazing father and I know that he has that love for his children. That's some consolation.

My son is being destructive. He figured out how to open the dishwasher and how to turn it off and on.

I am taking the kids for a walk. It's gorgeous and sunny and we're going to enjoy it. :) Maybe when we get back I'll throw the kids in the kiddie pool and sit outside and watch them play.

I think it's high time I closed this entry down. My thoughts are becoming even more random and a certain 6 year old is being a whiner about shorts.

Weather

2011-03-19T19:10:00.000-03:00

I am seriously loving the southern weather. Sometimes I tear up a little inside when I think of moving north again someday. I would never find myself sitting in my backyard reading books and watching my children play in their inflatable pool in the middle of March up north. Never. Up there I'd be huddled under throw blankets on my sofa and tugging up my wool socks.

Honey, if you read this can we please retire in the south? ;P

Confession time.

2011-03-17T11:17:00.013-03:00

I have a platonic crush on Bear Grylls. (Matt is very good natured about it.)

Forget for a moment that he's completely badass leaping out of planes and scaling mountains.

What I am really impressed with is that he is an awesome example of a good husband and father (and Christian to boot). I follow him on twitter. And every other post I just think "this man is amazing!" So many of his comments are about his family, or quoting Mother Teresa or the Bible. He posted to encourage prayer for the tragedy in Japan. Every time I see him say something about his family I am glad that there is a celebrity out there setting such a positive example.

"off for a long 4 week trip filming now- always so hard leaving home."
"have made it home to family! hurray. so happy."
"also took shara on the london eye in our own bubble to tell her i adore her!"

Those phrases are so simple, and yet (to me) they speak so much about how family is the most important thing to him. He adores his wife. He misses his children. He is thrilled to come home to them. I think the reason why I love Bear is that, in some respects, I feel like his life has a lot of similarities to ours. Clearly we are missing the whole fame portion. haha

Seriously, the only way Bear could be any cooler is if he was Matthew (as much as I love Bear, Matt still pwns). Matt may not have a British accent or do push ups in the buff after jumping into frozen rivers, but he reads his kids stories, gives them baths, puts them to bed at night (just to name a few). He helps me with whatever I need. He loves me beyond measure. He sets the same example for the men he works with that Bear does on a more public scale. In some ways I think that that's actually more important. It's good to have public figures setting a good example, but I think it is also tremendously important for all the dummies out there to see the Matts of the world doing it right. I think it's easier to dismiss when it's a celebrity, what they have is something most of us will never achieve. There are so many broken families and marriages. Our way obviously won't work for everyone, but if others could just see that being faithful and supportive makes a difference that's got to count for something. As far as husbands and fathers go I don't think Matt is average. I think he is well above it. And my crush on HIM is most definitely not platonic.

He did what...

2011-03-16T20:15:00.000-03:00

My day has been pretty productive. A brief rundown: We got up, the kids had breakfast. We did school in record time (even though we got a late start). Adrienne, darling girl that she is, even helped teach Genevieve some reading. (I am seriously so proud of her, she's getting to be such a capable young lady.) Adrienne cleaned their room (with minor assistance from her sisters). I did some laundry. The kids had lunch. Xander napped. I cleaned up a bit. The girls played with their friends. Xander woke up. We went for a walk/bike ride to the park and back. Did some more laundry. I washed both cars. Cleaned up some more. Fed the kids dinner. Cleaned up again.

Here comes the exciting part.

I stripped Xander of his yucky clothing, took off his diaper and had him throw it away, and sat him on the potty. He sat there for a minute before going and closing himself in the pantry to raid the granola bars. He couldn't open the door on his own, so Adrienne helped him out (he had a granola bar in his hand and wanted it unwrapped for him), only to discover that in the two minutes he'd shut himself in there he had shat on the floor. I took him out sat him on the potty and told him for making me have to clean his poop up off the floor the least he could do is pee on the potty for me while I cleaned it up. I glanced back down just in time to see a little fountain of pee spurting out over the edge of the potty because his little man parts weren't pointed down well enough. I jumped to poke it down in there so as not to have any more nastiness to clean off the floor. Some got in the potty. More got on my hand and arm. I can't really be sure how much got IN the potty, honestly, because it was all soaked into a graham cracker he'd dropped in there.

Graham cracker pee and pantry poop. These are the gifts my son gives me.

Because I wasn't on the ball in January.

2011-03-14T19:45:00.005-03:00

I made a pictureful post of Genevieve for her birthday, but I neglected to do one for Charlotte. Although, to be fair, Charlotte got a big birthday party and Genevieve (by her own choosing) had a small family-only party. So it's not like I totally gypped her. Still, without further ado some fond memories of my youngest girl to celebrate the occasion of her 4th birthday.

This is the day we welcomed her into our family.

Charlotte was our one baby to retain some her chub. We called her Chubbs for about a year.

She was also the droolingest of our daughters. It was everywhere.

She seemed excited about everything in life. (Don't ask me what Adrienne was doing, to this day I still can't figure it out.) Easter, leaves, cake. She loved it all.

And then she wasn't a baby anymore... she was a Big Girl and a Big Sister. (She will still tell you that she is little and teeny-winy.)

And crazy silly.

But apparently still baby enough to smear food all over her face. (At that I guess she still is, I caught her with butter smeared all over her face last night.)

I never did figure out what she was up to that day, but she loves the beach. And I love this picture.

She's another one with the goofy faces. My children crack me up.

Playing at the park just before her birthday.

The day after she turned 4, wearing an outfit that was given to her as a gift. She adores this outfit and would wear it daily if I let her.

And here, just a few days ago, playing at the beach.

I wub my little Charlotte-ta-Barlotte.

Life is good.

2011-03-12T16:58:00.007-04:00

I have been a slacker at posting lately... per usual... but I have been enjoying life. We have been able to enjoy some extra special family time these last couple weeks and I am trying really hard not to take it all for granted. Tonight we are celebrating Genevieve's 6th birthday. Pizza is ordered, cake is made (pineapple upside down cake, as she requested), and hot wings are absorbing sauce in the crockpot.

I was looking at some pictures last night and it's a little mind boggling to me how much my little middle girl has grown in the last couple years.

The day she was born... I still remember it vividly. 7 pounds 4 ounces, she looks so much fatter than that. haha

After we found out she had dislocating hips and was outfitted with her Pavlik harness (15 days old).

13 weeks later (we were so lucky her case wasn't severe) she was out of that contraption, and before we knew it she was walking.

And not too long after she was a big sister.

And had her own unique sense of fashion. Beads and dress up dresses figured in heavily.

Around this same time frame she developed horrible red patches of eczema all up and down her arms and legs. My poor girl has had an awful lot of trials for such a little runt. She remained chipper and never complained, though. The only time she ever let us know it was bothering her was when she'd wake up crying in the middle of the night because it itched so bad. And I tried friggin' everything. It wasn't until we returned from Korea and went through the hoops to see a fantastic dermatologist that it finally went away. I really believe if not for the doctor that we were referred to she'd probably still be suffering with it today.

All ready for gymnastics in Korea. Mismatched socks, she still does that. If I look closely I can see the red patches on her arms. It makes me sad to remember her suffering.

Back from Korea and still our little Dress Up Queen.

I can't get over her faces. I love them.

Just last summer... and she's still changed so much. Where is my little baby that had dark curls and made an ET face?

November. Her head was in my lap. I love her.

And now she's 6. SIX!!!! What the hell, man. They really do grow up way too fast.

Happy Birthday, Sunnybeeb.

And the adventure continues...

2011-02-22T18:57:00.002-04:00

I have begun what I call "pre-potty training" with Xander. Since he's only 22 months old I don't feel a real rush to get it done, but since he is aware enough to know what's going on and what to do on the potty I encourage him to get on it a couple times a day. He may or may not pee. It just depends on the day.

However, the downside of this is that a couple times he's taken off his own diaper after pooping. Normally not an issue, I grab him and clean him up before he makes a mess.

Last night, I was not so lucky. Before I knew what happened he had climbed up on the back of his plush rocking horse. I took it out to the kitchen to clean it (and keep it out of his reach since the kitchen is blocked with baby gates). Before I had a chance to spray some cleaner on it Adrienne sat on it. Doh.

I feel like every time I turn around I have some massive disgusting mess to clean up after this boy. Just when I think I've had enough of his bologna, though, he gives me a look like this and I can pretty much forgive all wrongs. Sticky from a sucker, crazy bedhead hair from his nap... he even conned me into sharing one of my Warheads with him. (Photo Snob Disclaimer: fuzzy photo the result of using my phone to take pictures instead of my camera. haha)

In the quest for good health...

2011-01-20T12:00:00.000-04:00

Over the last few months I have been trying to be healthier, get more regular with working out (since just after Christmas this last part has been a fairly decent success), and not eat so much junk. I have been drinking whey (fresh whey, not protein powder) and taking a tablespoon of coconut oil (or 2) every day for the past week. I have been trying to figure out a good way to get these things down without it being gaggy and weird. It's not that they taste gross, because they don't really at all. The oil tastes like coconut, which I like; the whey just tastes mildly like plain yogurt, a little tart. But somehow in liquid form those flavors are harder to get down, especially in oil form.

Who really wants to eat a spoonful of oil?

So, yesterday, I finally started combining them. Drink my whey and coconut oil together before my workout and get it out of the way. Perfect solution. Right...? Maybe. Still, the flavors and oily texture were tough, but I chug it down. It's not much, maybe 1/4-1/2 cup because I melt the oil and dilute the whey in warm water (I had been putting the whey in a full glass, but that just makes more to drink... getting it down in a smaller amount and then drinking plain water works better for me).

This morning I came up with the perfect solution. For reals. I added a spoonful of Ovaltine powder. 1/4 cup of chocolate milk. It completely masked the yogurt taste, and something about the chocolate hides the oily texture... still tasted a little coconutty, but lacked the oiliness that I had been having trouble with. And it packs in a few extra vitamins and minerals. I'm down with that.

...I think my biceps are getting bigger. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

She's almost 4... and it's beginning to show.

2011-01-19T19:30:00.002-04:00

Charlotte is ridiculous. She cracks me up and makes me want to tear my hair out in turns. I told Charlotte and Genevieve to clean up their crayon and paper mess off the kitchen table. They sort of complied. I called them back out to finish it and Charlotte emerges from the bathroom, mouth all blue from their Spiderman mouthwash. She smiles at me and says, "Me swallowed it!" (I am working on correcting the improper use of "me.")

I asked for clarification. "You swallowed it? Down into your tummy?"

"No, me spit it out." (that dang improper "me" again)

"Oh, ok. Good. Get in there and clean up the crayons."

"Ok, Mommy!"

I turn around and she's gone again, halfway down the hall. "CHARLOTTE!"

"Oh yeah, I meed to clean the pable!"

If I were prone to using sarcasm with my children this would have been the moment where I said something witty. But on the other hand, when I called her back at least she remembered what she was supposed to be doing without me having to verbally beat it into her little brain.

Before this particular exchange with Charlotte I told the girls that they needed to clean up, concluding the instructions with "I'm your mother, not your maid. Maids get paid to clean up after you. Mothers teach you how to clean up after yourselves. So get to it."

I decided that I really like that line. I don't know if I heard it somewhere else, or if I just made it up. But, I like it all the same.

Their bookshelves look like crap, and they are rapidly re-creating the crayon mess, but at least they followed through with the instruction. Small battles won.

Saturday is my day off.

2011-01-15T18:51:00.000-04:00

I take Saturday off. Not in the traditional sense. I work out 5 days a week, sometimes I feel like working out on Saturday anyway. But, (dramatic pause) Saturday is my day off. It's the one day where I have no obligations. I don't have to do school with the kids. I don't have to leave the house if I don't want to. I can just veg and Be. I try to get errands done during the week so I have that magical day free. Sunday is reserved for the Lord, and Saturday is reserved for nothing. So on my nothing day I slept in and plotted for dinner.

This afternoon, in preparation for our dinner, I made a batch of Frezzie's meatballs. After seeing PW's Mini Meatball sandwiches on the sidebar of her cooking page a couple days ago I've been craving them (http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/07/16-minute-meal-3-mini-meatball-sandwiches/). So, I made my own version. Well, really, the main thing I changed was the meatball recipe. Because Frezzie's are to die for. I used King's Hawaiian Savory Butter dinner rolls and warmed them up prior to assembly. Oh my heavens it made for a delicious dinner. The kids loved it. I ate 4 of them. The fabulous thing, though, is I made plenty of meatballs and I have more rolls so I can do this again tomorrow for dinner, or I can make spaghetti and meatballs.

Tonight I am going to pretend to go to bed early, but I will probably just stay up late watching Bear Grylls while I read the book Matt gave me for Christmas.

It was a long day.

2011-01-10T09:56:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was just a terribly long day. In fact, it's just been a long weekend. Saturday I spent tending a child who threw up almost all day. Yesterday I skipped Mass because I was unwilling to wake her early after her day of illness. I was also afraid one of the others would start in. Thankfully that hasn't happened yet.

(Prepare for gross mom-ish discussion of child's illness.)

I am still leery of it, though, especially because one of my girls just can't seem to make it to a bucket, wastebasket, or toilet in time. Stomach bugs are stressful when you have an unpredictable puker. With the other two I can give them a bucket and know that I can leave the room and they will be ok. I rush in to help them anyway but the bucket is serving it's purpose. The other girl, though, is a mess. She panics, doesn't know what to do, and completely disregards the bucket.

Did I mention my house is carpeted?

I let the girls "play makeup" while Xander was napping and wound up wiping lipstick smears off walls and doors all over the place. Xander did a fair share of climbing, spilling, and general boy havoc. By bedtime I was ready for them to fall asleep quickly (that rarely happens). Xander, of course, napped late so he was up half the night.

This mother must have her quiet time after the children are in bed. I love my kids, but everyone needs a break. I don't get it when I pee or when I shower, but dang it I am going to get it if it means I stay up till 3 AM! After a day of sick kids and a baby boy who won't go to bed at a reasonable hour for 2 nights running I was ready to crack open a bottle of wine and ignore the whole world. I didn't. But I totally could have.

Meh,

2011-01-09T21:54:00.000-04:00

I was going to write a real blog tonight but I changed my mind. I have a headache and my son is being a terror.

Can I quit my day job?

Detoxing...

2011-01-03T15:32:00.001-04:00

I have been pretty keen on the idea of doing some sort of body detox for awhile now. I just don't think I can do a juice fast. A whole week with no food? No thanks! I recently went ahead and did an internal herbal cleanse (that worked quite well, FYI). I probably won't repeat the experience any time soon, though, mostly because it left me feeling kind of nauseous and sensitive to smells (I can guarantee I am not pregnant). I think the tablets just flushed everything out of my system so fast I didn't actually absorb much nutrition and my body was freaking out from the lack. Maybe if I do it again I will just do it for one week and not two.

Once that was done I began using foot detox patches. Now, I've read a lot of conflicting reports on them (the brand that was most often used as an example is no longer manufactured), but a lot of the people who used them and then called them a crock only used them for a day or two and threw the rest out. I read you need to do it for a minimum of 3 days, most often it takes longer to do the cleanse. I've read about how it's dubious science at best. Maybe I'm a sucker for a gimmick. Either way, I think it might actually be working. Besides, 26 years (reportedly) of studies in Japan can't be totally wrong, right? haha (I've been using patches that are actually Asian brands vs. a knock off claiming to be the same "technology." http://www.asianfoodgrocer.com/product/5500000-forest-sap-detox-patch)

I can't say I am feeling exceptionally different, but one of the signs that the patch is "working" is that it gets lighter each day. I've noticed that it's not only getting lighter but it's not nearly as gooey when I take it off. I won't post pictures for comparison, because (quite frankly) it's disgusting. If you really want to see pictures of how these things look when you're done you can always google.

I'm not sure if I will ever do this again. I might. But, knowing me, I will probably move on to the next gimmick.

hors d'oeuvres...

2010-12-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

Christmas dinner is in the oven and won't be ready for a couple hours yet so I decided to make some appetizers. I thawed out some shrimp and opened a jar of cocktail sauce.

Fancy, I know.

I also pulled out some crackers and whipped up some salmon dip. I had this vision in my mind of how salmony and delectable it would be. I mixed it with a small dallop of mayo, a hefty portion of cream cheese. I splashed in some lemon juice and hot sauce. I chopped up sun dried tomatoes, and added a generous teaspoonful of capers.

I scoop some up on a delicious seasoned Wheat Thin flatbread crackers. And you know what it tastes like?

No, it does not taste like poo.

It tastes exactly like tuna. What the frick, right? All that effort for TUNA flavor. I may as well have just opened a can and added mayo.

I know what kind of sandwich I'll be eating for lunch tomorrow.

Fake tuna.

Grandma Waters

2010-12-24T12:49:00.000-04:00

Grandma Waters was my great-grandmother on my dad's side of the family (his mom's mom). When I was about 12-14 my dad would hang this big quilting frame from the ceiling in our garage and Grandma would come over and make patchwork quilts from scraps of fabric. Lovely, warm, hodge-podge quilts. We used to take her fishing, too. She loved to fish.

Anyway, back to quilting in the garage. She used to tell us stories as she sewed the quilt. One day she was talking about her family and she told me she was the last of the Mohicans. I was in awe. Later that night I went and told my mom that Grandma Waters was the last Indian. She scoffed at me. I told her I was serious, Grandma had told me so! She said no, grandma is black, not Indian. I protested. She had TOLD me. Why would she tell me she was the last of the Mohicans if she wasn't an Indian??? (Forget that I hadn't put any thought into how we could be black if she was Indian... maybe she was only part Indian, but I was like 12, I didn't think about the logistics.)

My mother burst my bubble and told me that Grandma had said that because she was the last one in her family still living. She didn't mean she was a real Indian, she just meant that she was the only one of her siblings living.

For one day, though, my great-grandmother was the last living Native American Indian.

That's a good word.

2010-12-23T19:34:00.000-04:00

Genevieve (at the dinner table): We are teaching Xander some good words. He can say lots of things.

Me: Oh yeah?

Genevieve: He can say "Rawr." Xander, say "RAAAWWWWRRRR!"

(Xander shakes his head no.)

Adrienne: He doesn't want to.

Genevieve: Nope.

We're all half black.

2010-12-19T15:04:00.000-04:00

Adrienne: Hey! Guess what, Ava! My mom is HALF black! She's half black because her grandma is half black!

Ava: Wow.

Me: Uh, no Adrienne, my Grandma is ALL black, my dad is half black, so I am a quarter black.

Adrienne: So that makes me half black?

Me: No. That makes you 1/8 black.

Adrienne: Oh. Well. Ava, I'm REALLY dark.

Ava: So am I. My mom says I am really tan.

Adrienne: Yeah. Genevieve has the darkest back.

My kids need to get on the ball...

2010-12-19T14:43:00.000-04:00

...also, people are stupid. And my kids need to take advantage of that. My neighbors' sons got together and were selling mistletoe on the side of the road the other day.

#1 They did this last year, too. Earned a few dollars.

#2 I laughed because they weren't selling mistletoe. They were selling holly.

#3 People were dumb enough to fall for it, not knowing the difference.

#4 My kids need to hop on this train. The boys made 60 bucks this week selling holly to unassuming passersby because the whole lot of them thought it was mistletoe.

#5 It's not deception if my kids think it's mistletoe, too? Right?

Hanging on.

2010-12-17T21:00:00.000-04:00

I feel like all too often I hang on to useless junk that I need to dispose of. Papers I think I might need some day, old clothing, knick knacks that people have given me that have long since ceased to be useful, tasteful, or not broken.

Periodically I manage to convince myself to purge. Today I put away laundry and discarded several articles of clothing that I don't even know why I held onto (some of them even had holes!) I cleaned my kitchen, went through my basket-o-crap and threw away almost everything in it.

Back to the clothing for a moment. It occurred to me that I have lots of articles that several years old, and out of style. But, I continue to hang on to them because I just plain like 'em, and since I spent the money on them I feel like it's a waste to get rid of them even if I barely got to wear them between pregnancies. I also have things which I technically CAN wear, but clearly shouldn't because of my post baby body. And I don't. But, I still keep them in the hopes that eventually I CAN one of these days.

I know I hang onto too much. I just need to up the ante on my periodic purges, because I don't want to end up like my great-grandmother. God love her, she almost qualifies for Hoarders. There is no reason why I need to keep Christmas cards we received last year on the top shelf of my pantry.

Puuuuurge.

staying signed in...

2010-12-10T12:50:00.000-04:00

I get really annoyed by things that I deliberately click "stay signed in" and every time I turn around it's making me sign back in. Why the hell even offer the "stay" option if they don't actually do it? I think I'm smart enough to sign out if I'm on another computer. But I'm not on another computer. I'm on mine. And no one else uses it. I can afford the luxury of staying signed in. Respect my wishes, dagnabbit! :P

Having Children

2010-12-08T22:08:00.000-04:00

Everywhere I go I bring my 4 kids. On virtually every outing I have someone say something to the effect of "Boy, you've sure got your hands full!" I usually reply with a smile and say something like, "Oh, sometimes, but usually it's not bad!" Every once in awhile someone gives a dirty look, or makes the "You should make your husband get snipped!" type of comments. And every once in awhile I have someone say how great they think it is that I have "so many" children.

Today I had the distinct pleasure of having that happen not once, but twice. I think they were both Vietnam vets, too. One most certainly was, his hat was proof enough. The other had lost a leg, which I know could have been due to anything but around here there are a lot of veterans so it's a 50/50 chance he was. The latter spoke to us on our way out of Church. There were, aside from the 5 of us, literally only 7 other people attending the noon Holy Day Mass. (I am hoping a lot more people attended the evening Mass.) Mine were the only children in attendance, and I was the only person there south of 50. It was kind of hard to miss us. He smiled and said we reminded him of his daughter's family; she has 5 children, the oldest in high school.

The other gentleman encountered us in the McDonalds at WalMart. I was waiting in line and he came up behind us and started chatting up my kids. Then he asked me if we were going to have any more. I told him "Maybe." He smiled and said he liked that, and that it's always God's decision. I agreed and said it wasn't in my immediate plans but we weren't ruling it out. Then he started talking to a woman and her daughter (who had to be around 14). They admitted the girl was spoiled "because she's the only girl." And then they said there would be no more children for them, "because mommy can't have any more children." He started talking about how it's up to God. It was kind of funny to watch and I was glad I was on his side of it all.

This is terribly composed but I have a child kicking my arms and I'm too lazy to go back over everything. I just wanted to put this out there before I forget it. It's nice to have some positive reinforcements out there when so often people are incredulous or give us flack for having "a lot" of kids.

Netflix is the Shizzz

2010-11-21T14:39:00.000-04:00

Recently I restarted my Netflix account. Back in the day we were the first people we knew who got it. Other people signed up because we raved about how totally awesome it was. Then we canceled it when we moved to Korea. And did without when we came back, not really giving it a second thought.

Well, my friend gave me the password to his account but I felt too guilty to use it all the time so I just set mine back up. I had been wanting to for awhile anyway. Best idea EVER. Back in the day there was no online instant queue, or streaming to your PS3 or Wii or Xbox. So, we paid the 17 bucks a month for 3 DVDs at a time. Now I'm paying 9 for 1 at a time, but we can watch unlimited instant movies. And we have been. (I have it set up for the Wii and PS3 so that I don't have to move my laptop and hook it up to the TV every time we want to watch a movie. It's awesome. No wonder Blockbuster is going under. I feel kind of bad for them.)

We have watched nature documentaries to supplement science and geography schoolwork, movies to entertain while Mommy tries to take a shower in peace, and gotten an introduction to classic movies that I never thought about watching with my kids (it's been ages since I've seen them, I never thought about them until I saw the titles). I can watch a movie and relax after putting the kids to bed without having to make the effort to go out and rent something earlier in the day. It's niiiice.

They watched The Black Stallion. At first they didn't want to watch it, halfway through they were intrigued. They asked if they could watch a movie and were disagreeing over what to watch (not arguing, but not agreeing), so I made the executive decision (I often do as I am skimming over titles because I see it and think "Oh, heck YEAH!") to make them watch The Land Before Time. The original one. Not the franchise of crappy sequels (I hate franchises of crappy sequels). About 3 minutes into it they are hooked. (Adrienne immediately recognized Sharp Tooth as a T-rex.) The other day they wanted to watch something so I turned on a documentary about ancient Egypt. Another time I put on one about fish. We've watched Man vs. Wild together.

I. Love. Netflix.

My kids crack me up

2010-11-15T18:49:00.000-04:00

Adrienne said to me a little while ago, "If we go somewhere for Christmas I am going to leave Santa a note."

"Why?" I asked, "To tell him where we're going?"

"Yeah," she said. "I will write 'me and my sisters and my brother and my mom are at my aunt's house' so that he knows where to leave our presents."

I let the kids play with scissors and construction paper. I think this is really the first time I have ever let Charlotte and Genevieve use scissors. They were a little clumsy with them. But, Genevieve successfully made herself a paper dog by cutting out shapes and strips and gluing them together. It was pretty darn cute. She even made it a paper leash so she could "walk" it.

When parents don't see eye to eye.

2010-11-11T18:33:00.000-04:00

Not Matt and I. Other parents. And me.

Today I talked to the neighbor's daughter because she made fun of Adrienne and told her she sound like a big fat horse. (A has a cold and her voice is all raspy.) I told her it was unkind and she needed to apologize, and that if it happened again Adrienne wouldn't be allowed to play with her anymore and I'd have to have a talk with her mother. (This is the second incident, before Halloween this same girl told my children that if they went trick or treating the devil was going to come take them away.) (Adrienne and her friends had been upset because these other kids "stole" a pile of sticks they had gathered... the other kids didn't know and I told Adrienne it wasn't a big deal, there is plenty more sticks and wood int he world that she can gather later.)

So Mama comes walking over to have a word with me and "get to the bottom" of the situation. Basically all she can say to me is that my kid keeps bringing up the Halloween incident, which I admit is inappropriate of her, but also note that she's a worrier and she's afraid that the devil will come and take her away now. I told Mama that I don't allow my kids to name call and that they get in trouble for it, and if they can't play nicely together I tell them to walk away. There will only be just so many times my child comes home in tears before I go say something. If they can't play nicely they will be on restriction and not allowed to play with the kids who can't be nice to each other.

At this point Mama's daughter says how one of the other boys had teased Mama's son and Adrienne said "haha." I made Adrienne apologize immediately.

Mama points to other kids in the neighborhood and says how "they all" seem to be able to dish it out but not take it. Sorry bitch, my kids aren't the ones calling names and condemning others to hell. That'd be your children. I may think it's dumb of my kids to beat the dead horse, but mine have not been the ones name calling. Hate to say it, but for all my kids faults, they aren't the bad ones in this scenario. I get so sick of neighborhood brats. I want to smack all of them.

It has struck me that my life is boring.

2010-11-09T22:25:00.000-04:00

I feel like tonight is a good night to blog. I've got music playing, my kids are in bed, I'm drinking vodka. Life is good.

Forget the fact that I flipped out on my 3 year old today, and yesterday she royally pissed me off by jabbing a pen into the arm of my leather sofa repeatedly. Life is still good.

Because even when I flip my shit somehow they still love me. I can hug and say I'm sorry and explain myself calmly and they apologize and say they love me. I dunno why. They totally got the short end of the stick.

I've started some Christmas shopping... still a few things I need to get. Adrienne has grown inches since last year and looks like a total nerd in almost all her pants. Those same pants can't even be passed down to Genevieve because Adrienne beats the hell out of her clothing, so I need to buy new clothing for both of them. It's always something.

I returned Matt's Christmas present that wasn't the right size today and the proper size should be arriving tomorrow. I am really stoked about this gift because I know how much he wants it. He's a hard person to shop for, he never wants anything and if he does he's probably already bought it. This is the first thing I've been able to get for him in a long time that I knew he really wanted and was excited about. He knows what he's getting, but I am still completely thrilled over it.

I've been sitting here waiting for the next words to flow and I just realized that my life sounds totally boring. I feel like I never stop, but when I go to put it down into words there is nothing particularly exciting to relay. Xander has a runny nose, I have been coughing for two days... had errands to run this morning and an FRG meeting this evening, Adrienne has a dentist appointment Thursday... it's not exactly thrilling but I always have something going on. After I sent the girls to bed I wrote a good morning note to them on the dry erase board that hangs over the table. They will see it when they get up for breakfast. Adrienne can read it to them. I am looking forward to hearing the things they say when they see it. It's the little things that make daily life delightful. :)

Things that must be dealt with.

2010-11-02T19:24:00.000-03:00

Today Adrienne asked me what the pictures of children at the entrance to Walmart are for. I almost started crying in the middle of the store when I tried to explain it to them.

I have told them so many times that they always need to stay close to me so they don't get lost. We have told them that there are bad people in the world who steal children and I never want my children to be stolen; that that is why they MUST listen to us and obey us. We always want them to be safe.

I see that cork board every time I walk through those doors. I wasn't really prepared for Adrienne to notice it today. It kind of broke my heart that, more than just telling them in a vague way that there are bad people in the world, they saw the faces of those innocents who have been the victims of the bad people.

I wonder how many people heard me telling my kids about that board today, how many of them realized that I was struggling not to cry, and how many of them have had these kinds of talks with their kids.

Evil people suck.

Conversations over dinner

2010-11-01T18:38:00.001-03:00

Genevieve: Adrienne, what if you were 22?

Adrienne: I might get kids.

Genevieve: What if you were 23?

Adrienne: Then I would get kids.

Me: How would you get kids?

Adrienne: I'd get married!

People who make you feel like dirt

2010-10-04T15:41:00.000-03:00

My mother in law is one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever met. Even when she has gotten frustrated with someone it's always been for their own good/health/safety/etc.

She is aptly named. Candy. Yeah, that's right, my mother in law is named Candy. And she's adorable and sweet.

She makes me feel like a worm.

I try not to compare myself to her because I seriously end up feeling like shit. I never swear around her, barely drink (maybe a small glass of wine here and there). Triple my efforts to be patient with my children. I am sure she's good for me. But I can't help but think of how flawed I am in comparison.

I was thinking about her today. I love her. She's awesome. And I've been a major bitch lately.

Candy = awesome. Me = worm.

Boo.

I've been lazy.

2010-09-19T00:24:00.000-03:00

Lazy and unmotivated to be exact. I've neglected updating a lot of things online. At least 3 days this week my kids have had me on the verge of pulling a Britney and shaving my head in a fit of psychotic frustration/helplessness. We had an amazing weekend at a beautiful cabin on a lake with friends. Then the following two days back home my little angels tried my patience on every level imaginable. It was a rough couple of days getting back into the swing of things, but I think we are pretty much back to normal now.

It's times like these that I am really grateful for having such a wonderful and loving husband. He will step in and intervene, take charge, and just do what needs to be done. I am so grateful for him. He can make my absolute worst day amazing just by coming home and running interference. He takes charge of the kids, and when everyone has wound down for the night he gives me a nice back massage and pushes all the worries away.

God is one smart Omniscient Being. He sent Matt into my life, and somehow put it in my head that, no matter what, this was the man I was going to end up with, no matter who told us it might be a bad idea. We've proved them wrong. He has made my life better.

It's been the best idea I ever had. We've made four beautiful, if sometimes rotten, children. We've been together 8 (not counting the almost 2 prior to marriage) amazing years. Matt is my rock. The one person in the whole world that, no matter what, I know I can always rely on, always lean on, always trust in every way.

I am sad for all the people in the world who don't have their Matt. I've literally shed tears over the marriage troubles of other people. I wish that they all had someone like Matt. Someone who will show support and share every hardship and joy. Someone that they can trust implicitly. I know that there are always going to be people who get divorced, or never get married... but in a perfect world everyone would have something as amazing as what we have.

I am suppose what I am really getting at here is that I am so, so grateful, and so thankful for what God has seen fit to bless me with. Matt is one of the most exceptional men I have ever met, and I am proud and humbled to call him Mine.

Daily Diatribes

2010-09-03T13:14:00.000-03:00

A blog from a friend of mine. I'm lazy so I'm not going to write extensively about how awesome she is, I'm just going to throw the link out there and let her work speak for itself. I hope you enjoy her musings. She's an amazing woman, single mother, daughter, sister, and friend. She's welcoming all sorts of feedback, if you hate what she says and the way she writes go ahead and tell her. If you like it, all the better, tell her that, too.

http://mydailydiatribes.blogspot.com/

teabaggery

2010-08-30T21:48:00.000-03:00

I have teabags glued to my fingernails. Well, not whole teabags. Pieces of them. The other day I was looking at youtube and I found a video of this gal showing how to repair broken fingernails with teabags and superglue. Cynic that I am I thought it was total BS.

Then two days ago I sliced halfway through my thumbnail with a large santoku knife. When I weighed the options between having a stumpy fingernail or trying out a teabag I opted to try and save it. It really works. I've since applied it to two more nails that got banged around and were breaking for various reasons.

I own you an apology, youtube girl.

That's my job.

2010-08-26T14:12:00.000-03:00

This morning when I went into the kitchen Adrienne didn't hear me and she jumped when she turned around and saw me.

"You scared me, Mom!" She said.

I told her, "Yeah, that's my job."

She smiled and said, "Yeah, and my job is to be your helper!"

I have no idea how the related those two things in her mind, but it was so darn cute. haha It may have been because she had started to help get oatmeal ready for her sisters and herself.

Various and Sundry

2010-08-26T00:33:00.000-03:00

I haven't been very motivated lately, since coming back from visiting family. Things have been a little busy getting back into the swing of things. I have started school with the girls again.

Genevieve is really just starting, I have gone over a few letters and numbers with her. She is learning to write her name. She still holds her pencil wrong, but I don't want to force the issue. I figure she will do whatever is most comfortable and I will just encourage her to try holding it properly. She was excited to do school today, which is a positive sign. She has been very determined with her coloring, too. I have noticed that she tries desperately to keep her colors in the lines when she uses a coloring book. She does really well with it, too. I think she's going to be a lot easier to teach this year than Adrienne was when she was 5. And if she isn't I'll just wait a little longer. I think she wants to learn to read, though. When I tell her a letter and the sound it makes she repeats it, whereas Adrienne would shut down on me. When A was ready she was ready and soaked it right up, though. I am not certain Genevieve will be the same way, but I think she is ready to start and is more open to it now than when A was this age. It's not really fair to compare them, I guess, I'm more just reflecting on the differences between them. Genevieve has always been a little more independent.

I went over the Dolch word list with Adrienne. I took her from the pre-primer words straight through the third grade words, and all the nouns. She only got 5 wrong. I was really proud of her. To test her spelling and handwriting I had her write out the pre-primer words (38 words). She got 5 wrong and wrote two letters backwards. Again, very proud of her. Her reading skills have taken great leaps and bounds over the summer. Then we did math... and I knew I should have had her do a little here and there over the summer and didn't. I practically had to start back at square one explaining her addition and subtraction again. We're going to need to work at math a lot this year. I don't have any worries about her reading. She loves it; often I catch her reading a book when she's supposed to be doing something else, like cleaning up a mess. I have threatened to take the book away if she doesn't obey, and the chore gets done mighty quick. She loves her books. She loves reading to her sisters and brother, which I love.

Charlotte didn't do any schooling, but she's only 3 so I don't feel like it's necessary to push her into it yet. She was good and played with Xander while we did our work. While we were working my friend Liz called and invited us to go watch Nanny McPhee Returns with them this afternoon. So when the girls were all done I rewarded them with the movie. They really enjoyed it. Xander even sat still through most of it. Charlotte was very attentive to the movie, except for about 5 minutes where she was up and moving around. We mostly had the theater to ourselves so I wasn't worried about her moving along the row in front of us. She has been drawing a lot more lately. I can see how she's mostly progressed from scribbles to trying to draw people and things. She doesn't seem to have a strong desire to draw people, though, she usually wants someone else to draw it for her. Sometimes she still scribbles and sometimes I can see a distinct face in what she's colored.

Xander is rapidly becoming a rotten little monkey. He has been climbing on everything. Onto chairs and tables. Onto footstools. Onto the paper shredder (I keep it unplugged so he can't get hurt on it). Problem of course is the little koosner can't climb back down off anything. I have to keep my chair pulled away from the computer desk because he will climb on top of it if I don't. I am going to go ahead and blame my sister's house for this. I don't think it would have occurred to him if he hadn't discovered stairs there. He also is a total poop machine. Every time I get his diaper off him he runs away and shats somewhere. I feel like he pooped 5 times today (only once on the floor, thank God). How in the world does he manage to create so much? He doesn't even eat that much! Aside from poop and climbing, though, he is an angel. He has become very generous with kisses. Oh! Little stinker that he is, he climbed up on my toilet and began throwing everything I had on the back of it onto the floor. When I scolded him for it he kissed me. Like that's going to make it all better! HA! WTH? He's too young for those tricks! Yes, an angel. I love hearing him play with the girls and run back and forth with them. He cackles and laughs so hard.

The Great WalMart Adventure

2010-08-20T00:03:00.000-03:00

So today we went to Wal Mart. I stuck my son in the cart, plopped my Charlotte in the basket and made the other two trot alongside. Went in, rounded the corner, grabbed some contact solution (Opti Free Replenish, fyi), turned to go seek out the next item on my list when I am hailed from the child in the basket of the cart.

"I have to peeeee!"

So I turned back to the front of the store and made all three girls go in and do their business. Even though Genevieve said she didn't have to go she did. I know their tricks. As soon as I'm halfway through the store they start in with the "I have to go to the bathroom"-ing.

They finish, we proceed. I toss a few more items into my cart and am accosted by two women (each one had one child with them). One was a sweet black girl, and the other was a white chick with hair that almost brush the floor. I am not shitting you. She probably could sweep her kitchen with it. They were dressed very modestly, skirts to their ankles and layered shirts. I knew as soon as they opened their mouths what they were about. I listened politely and chatted for a few minutes.

Then they invited me to their church. Their Baptist church. And their weekday prayer meetings. And their old fashioned big tent revival. Even after I told them I am a regular Church goer and I attend Mass on post. I thanked them for the invitation and noted how Xander was getting restless and I needed to get moving.

Thank you Xander for getting restless. Bless those women, I just am not really comfortable with being cornered like that. And it happens ALL the time. I feel this is unique to the South. That never, ever happened to me up North.

So I finish the majority of my shopping and Charlotte tells me that she's got to pee again. I grab my last two things, go pay (because I knew she could hold it since she went less than 45 minutes before that). I waited outside the bathroom again with Xander and my carload of merchandise, sent Adrienne in with Charlotte, and Genevieve followed along, apparently just for the hell of it.

I'm waiting, talking to Xander, watching people walk by. When I hear a horrible wailing coming from the bathroom. It only took me a second to recognize that as MY child. I snatched up my purse and Xander and rushed in. Adrienne and Genevieve were hanging out by the sink, Charlotte was locked in her stall. I called in to her and asked if she was ok, if she was hurt. She opened the door wailing and gesturing to the john. I asked if she fell. She said yes. When I asked if she fell IN or OFF she said no. So I asked again what was wrong.

"My dolly in the toilet!"

When I had walked to her door the toilet was flushing.

"You flushed your dolly down the toilet?"

"Yeeesssss!!!" More crying.

It was SO hard not to laugh. I mean, it was only a Polly Pocket, easily replaced. But she was heartbroken over it. The whole scenario was HILARIOUS. I told her not to worry, we had more at home and we could always buy another one. She calmed down and we left the store. Apparently she dropped it when she flushed. I'm still not sure on the details exactly.

But, seriously, who else's kid flushes a doll down the toilet in Wal Mart?

Light

2010-08-16T23:04:00.000-03:00

I want my house to look like a Pottery Barn catalog. Everything just looks so light and fresh. And would be such amazing back drops for photography. Such amazing light for photography. I know, it's all tricks of lights and lamps and crap, but I can dream. I mean, if my hospital room had such great natural light (a year ago when Xander was born) a house should be able to have light sources equally amazing to that. That's what I want. And I always end up in houses and apartments with windows facing the wrong direction. I can't even grow a freaking potted plant on my kitchen windowsill.

Life is so unfair.

Not that my gardening adventures this year were successful by any measure. My potted flowers out front shriveled up and died. My seeds never sprouted. Even after several attempts. All I wanted were a couple of freaking nasturtium seeds to sprout. And maybe some basil. As a gardener I fail. I will never, ever be able to make my way just living off the land. I'd starve to death. I'd probably have to start eating grass.

That's no goal of mine, though. That's Matt's pipe dream. Livin' off the land and self-sufficiency. I'll take my Targets and Wal Marts and Krogers, than you very much. All I really want in a future home are some big windows so I have have nice lighting to take an indoor picture. All my other wants in life can be pretty easily met, eventually. That dang light thing, though, always escapes me.

Oh, and a walk-in pantry. Because we have one now and I never want to be without one again. That pantry is my favorite part of this house. I don't even like the kitchen. Just the pantry.

Walk-in pantries and big windows to fill my home with light. That's my pipe-dream.

For now at any rate.

Pure Logic

2010-08-14T18:01:00.001-03:00

Frequently at meal times when my kids start asking what we will be eating I tell them that I am going to roast, grill, boil, or broil them and eat them for dinner. They usually squeal and yell "Noooo!"

Tonight, however, I was met with a different response. A bit of genius from my own dear Genevieve.

"You cannot eat us! We are dirty! See? Look at our feet!"

I laughed. Can't argue with that logic.

I like things the way they are.

2010-08-12T14:25:00.001-03:00

OK, so back home again. I need to buckle back down and compose, lets those inner thoughts fly free. I will be getting my new computer in the next few weeks so that's a huge plus. Matt approved my choice, which makes me feel good because I had my sister purchase the same computer for herself. And I'd have felt like shit for making a 19 year old college student buy a POS machine. I also didn't let the sales girl strong arm Mary into buying a bunch of crap she doesn't need. Why pay $40 for anti-virus software when there are really good programs out there for free? So now that I have the decision making part out of the way all I have to do is wait till some more money comes through the bank and either run out and buy it or order it online.

I have decided that my husband might just be a total sucker for me. At least it's mutual. The other day he said that he hadn't gotten me anything for my birthday and he'd have to do something special for me later. Now, I'm never one to say no to presents from him. I like that he loves me so much that he'll do just about anything to make me happy. But I kinda had thought that the computer would be my birthday present. I know I said it to him at least twice. I'm going to go ahead and say that it does not make me a bad person that I will most likely let that one slip under the radar and let him get or do whatever he wants for me. I mean, if he wants to do something special for me who am I to tell him no?

It's really the little things that are my favorites, though. Don't get me wrong, I love that I can convince him to buy me a new camera or that he's totally agreeable to buying me a new computer when mine dies. Love that he is that generous with me. But, there are little things throughout the day that I cherish. I love that he always kisses me hello and goodbye, he usually says I love you multiple times a day. He rubs my back and feet without me ever having to ask. He just does these things because he likes being near me. I don't owe him any favors for doing it, there's never a "my turn" or "your turn", he just does things for me. I think he might be getting the short end of the stick, actually. I rarely rub his back and I never rub his feet.

Because let's be honest here, feet are kinda gross.

Vanity

2010-08-04T20:05:00.000-03:00

Personalized license plates crack me up. I mean, seriously, I don't know how people come up with this crap. While driving around the city these last few days I have been making note of exceptionally odd plates. Nonna V is sweet, proud little grandma. Mom of 1 I found humorously strange. RJStark was nothing new, people put their names on their plate all the time. These are typical vanity plates, I think. Pretty standard. I know a family that has some variation of their last name for their license plates. Both parents, and 4 of their grown children (their 5th may have it as well, but I don't think I've seen her car). But then you have your weird ones.

When I saw qute bug I was really confused as to what the heck they were trying to get across. They were driving an SUV. gsorry made me chuckle but also speculate all the random things "g" could stand for. Like gangsta. That would be cool.

Two of my favorites were awa fada and blvdat. When I saw the first one I half wondered if it was some Arabic saying, but halfway through that thought the lights came on and I got it. And loved it.

bihater made my eyes bug out. I really can't think of anything it could possibly mean aside from the obvious. On the other hand runnaked had me laughing out loud. Until I passed them and saw the people in the car. And it's not that they were ugly or anything, but once you know what someone looks like you don't often want a mental image of them running naked. twylighter pretty much had me wanting to run that grown woman off the road. Not a teenybopper, but a grown ass woman at least as old as I am. I don't really have the patience for fangirls.

At the end of the day I'm still not sure if I love vanity plates or if I think they are ridiculous. The one thing I know for sure is that they very frequently make me laugh. So I guess that's a point in their favor.

Things I miss

2010-07-31T19:17:00.000-03:00

Right this moment I miss April and May. Not because I'm melting in the heat of the southern summer. I've got no complaints on that front except that I wish I had a pool in my backyard.

What I miss is awesome photographic opportunities like this. When I walk across the yard to check my mail the brown grass crunches under my feet. This doesn't bother me so much except that I really wish, when I look around, that there were a few more trees blossoming. I wish that the pathetic flower pots on my porch weren't filled with shriveled up brown plants. I suppose I could remedy that situation, but there's nothing I can do to replace the blooms that don't require any effort on my part, and those are the ones I miss the most. Not because they don't take any effort, but because they are far more beautiful and bountiful than my sad little planters. I miss the opportunities to capture the intricacies of God's creation. The crusty brown height of summer lacks that special something that comes with spring.

Ch-ch--ch-changes

2010-07-26T20:24:00.000-03:00

I know the face of my blog keeps changing. You're going to have to bear with me until I find something that makes me happy and doesn't annoy my critics. Jim didn't like the white space around my headers. Laura didn't like the liquid effect when changing window sizes. And I just thought the dogwood header was too friggin' big. I'd gotten sick of the old gray background and thought it was time for a change. If I'm going to renew my efforts here then I want to be looking at something I will enjoy, too.

Funny I used the word "effort." Since I started up again it's actually been pretty easy. I actually had a conversation with L about this earlier, I don't feel like blogging should be an effort. I think it should flow naturally. What I post are my thoughts, regurgitated back in whatever jumble they occur to me. I'm not a planner when it comes to blogging, although occasionally I might write something and find it unsatisfactory and save the draft for another time. I'm just going to keep throwing out whatever occurs to me in the heat of the moment. I think it works well for me.

Feedback is always welcome buy it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to change anything. HA!

Bite it.

2010-07-26T14:18:00.001-03:00

When I was a kid I used to bite my fingernails. I made a conscious decision to stop when I was around eleven years old. My aunt Laney always had pretty long nails and always, always had them painted. I wanted fingernails like Laney. With the force of sheer willpower I made myself stop biting my nails. I distinctly remember how proud I was when I accomplished that feat. I could actually see white at the tips of my nails.

Adrienne could grow her nails 3 feet long without a second thought about how long they were getting. No nail biting, just chips and breaks from digging in the dirt like a normal 7 year old.

Genevieve and Charlotte both bite their nails. It's a bad habit, one which I've fought and conquered, and have always hoped they'd do the same on their own. But, with the even of Charlotte's finger infection this past weekend I decided to be a little more proactive about it.

I don't know if it's going to work. You hear success stories and others who say that it never stopped them. But I went ahead and spent the five bucks on this:

Today as I was applying the second coat (of a twice per week regimen) my curiosity got the better of me. I carefully slid some across my left index finger and allowed it to dry while I finished up the girls hands.

Bolstering myself for what I knew must be disgusting (it would have to be gross to actually work) I gingerly licked the tip of my fingernail. Holy. Shit. That was the most disgusting bitter thing I have ever tasted. I'd rather chew aspirin.

"The easy way to stop nail biting." If I hadn't already quit 20 years ago I'd sure as heck quit now. Blech.

whelmed

2010-07-26T01:20:00.000-03:00

I don't know how I got to be the most important person in Matt's world. I am constantly befuddled by the thought, and yet it brings me endless pleasure. There is something terribly special about a man who works his ass off so you can have a comfortable life with all your needs met. A man who comes home from long hours at work, often more than a regular 9 to 5, and proceeds to help take care of kids, change dirty diapers, clear tables and take out trash, and even help with dishes after dinner. Maybe he doesn't do every one of those tasks every day, but he always does them without complaint.

Just thinking about him overwhelms me sometimes. Sometimes when he's at work I miss him, I feel it as an ache deep within my heart and soul. And then he walks in the door and he's amazing and goofy and perfect. He calls our three year old Bob and wrestles with the five year old. He writes books with our seven year old. He cuddles with the baby and puts him down for a nap. This life couldn't possibly get any better. He is such a good father. I am so thankful that I found such a good man to raise a family with. He told me the other day he likes having kids with me. I asked him, incredulously, "you like having kids with me, or making kids with me?" He said both. I'm still not sure what he meant by "having." But he's definitely pulling his weight on the parenting thing so I guess whatever he meant it works.

I love watching him with the kids and listening to their conversations. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I see him teach them funny little tricks, or invents new games with them. They have such big imaginations. Father and children so much alike. They love it when he composes songs and stories about them on the fly. I try but I am a poor substitute. Daddy's stories rule, and his songs are longer and funnier than Mom's. Sometimes I think the only thing I really have going for me is that I can cook better than he can.

i need to do this more often

2010-07-24T22:54:00.000-03:00

I just went back and read my very first entry on this blog. And as I was reading I thought "dang, I am good!" Why the heck don't I write like that anymore? I don't know if it's because I lack time or if I am too lazy... maybe it's the stinker kids who won't stay in bed. Or the sink full of dishes that needs to be loaded in the dishwasher. It may yet be the toys and books on the living room floor. Or the load of laundry I left in the dryer.

Right now, right this second, I am going to say screw all that stuff that needs to be done. I am going to take 15 minutes and waste it on something for myself. I'm not washing cars or edging patio sidewalks. I'm sitting and letting words flow from my fingers. I don't have a specific thought or contemplation tonight and I think that's ok. I'm going to take this time to just BE.

Xander is pretty well determined to break this up for me. Little turd.

I think I am at a point in my life where I am pretty much content. I mean, there are things I want or need materially, but when I think about things I want to do or places I want to see I really don't have any particular goals lined up. I am happy doing what I'm doing right where I am. Eventually the where will change, but I don't believe the what will be altered all that much. The reason why I have such contentment in my life can really be attributed to one thing. One person.

Matthew.

Everything he does, everything he has worked for and become, has been for us. He works so hard to make our lives better. I take that for granted far too often. I have to remind myself not to. Not everyone out there is lucky enough to have an ideal marriage. I know some people think I sound naive but they don't know Matthew. If they did they would understand why, underneath all the minor irritations, my life is pretty much awesome.

A few months ago we went to a ball and I had a long talk with a guy Matthew works with. He and his wife were having some problems and it broke my heart. They have babies and I just thought how awful for those innocent little ones to be stuck in the middle of this. When Matthew and I got back to our hotel room I wept for that family. He told me "Honey, you can't fix everyone."

He was right, of course. I know not all marriages last (my parents divorced after 25 years). I can't change anyone, I can't make them treat their spouse better, or make them work harder to have a happy home life. But what I can do is work together with my husband to make our home life as happy and healthy as we possibly can. For us and for our children. I pray that each one of them finds the same happiness in their vocation that I have. I pray that my son grows up to be as good a man as his father is, and that my daughters surpass me (because I know my flaws, but I don't know any men better than my husband). I pray that I don't fail them.

Like father, like daughter

2010-07-24T21:49:00.000-03:00

Adrienne so so her father's daughter.

Matt has this bad habit of ripping (literally) the tags off the inside of his shirts because he doesn't like the way it feels. This usually leaves a hole in the back at the collar. He doesn't like to cut the tag because it leaves a tiny bit there and he can still feel it.

He is weird. And so is his daughter.

Adrienne came up to me tonight, as she occasionally does, and told me that the tag on her shirt was rubbing her neck and it didn't feel good. I cut it off for her. At least she can still be appeased without ripping holes into her clothing. haha

Nail biters. Argh.

2010-07-24T16:08:00.000-03:00

Today I had to run Charlotte up to the ER urgent care clinic. Nothing serious. She has a paronychia infection on her finger (probably from biting her fingernails). Thursday I noticed it was a little red. Friday it was a tiny bit swollen and I discovered the evidence of infection so I cleaned it and put on some Neosporin. This morning when we woke up her finger was pretty swollen at the tip and redder than yesterday. Since I'd already cleaned it out and had been topically treating it and it looked worse they put her on oral antibiotics. It's a pretty common infection but when I saw it was swollen I didn't want to risk it getting really bad. Charlotte doesn't seem to notice the difference. She's a pretty tough girl. The hardest part of her recovery is going to be keeping her dang fingers out of her mouth and nose. I already bought that nail biter funky polish and applied it to both Charlotte and Genevieve's nails. I hope it works.

Red books.

2010-07-23T19:07:00.000-03:00

True story:

"Genevieve, pick up this red cup and put it out in the kitchen."

. . .

Five minutes later.

"GENEVIEVE! I told you to pick up this red book and put it out in the kitchen. You moved from one side of the room to the other and didn't pick it up! And by 'book' I mean 'cup'!"

She picked up the cup and put it in the sink.

S-m-r-t

2010-07-23T15:33:00.000-03:00

My son is a doll. I am enjoying watching him grow, seeing all the funny little things he does.

When Xander wants a drink he likes to drop his pacifier inside the cup before he drinks up. It's a very deliberate action. Pulls the paci out, looks at it, drops it in the cup, looks in the cup, takes a drink.

He also has been helping me get diapers when it's time for a change. Unfortunately if the dirty diaper is handy he seems to think this is a viable option when I say "Go get a diaper!"

I'm lazy

2010-07-22T18:59:00.000-03:00

So in the last several months my blogging has taken a major nosedive. I also started up a twitter account because my friend asked me to so she'd have more followers. She fell off the tweet wagon and I'm still lounging around. Not super prolifically, I have been told that I leave people hanging.

But, in order to try and get back into the swing of blogging I intend to start off using my blog along the same lines I use twitter. I can elaborate a little more. And hopefully this blog will be slightly less neglected.

Laundry was never so fun

2010-07-20T23:18:00.000-03:00

As I was unloading the dryer this evening and sorting out the clothing Charlotte decided to help me. After tossing out a few shirts she leaned into the open door and called in "Hello! Are you in there!? Is there a party in here?!"

She slays me.

Ridin'

2010-04-05T23:00:00.000-03:00

Adrienne learned to ride her bike today, training wheel free, in the space of about 5 minutes.

Back story, she will be 7 this summer and has been actively riding bike for about 3-4 weeks (tops). In 2007 we were in Korea and there was nowhere for her to ride so we didn't even bother buying her a bike. In 2008 we moved back to the US, I got preg with Xander (read: sick all the time), and Matt was in school so teaching her to ride was really not feasible for us. On top of that there was no area that was really adequate for her to ride on. In 2009 Xander was born and we moved. Again, no feasible time to learn how to ride (and for awhile we didn't have a decent place, then it was winter and too cold to be out riding).

This year we finally have a good area for her to ride around and a decent bike for her to use. She's been riding with training wheels for the last couple weeks and today she declared that she wanted to take them off and try to ride without them like her friends.

I had Matt take them off and she tried to have a go a couple times on her own before Matt began to guide her around. In less than 5 minutes that girl was riding on her own zipping up and down our little street with her friends. I am so proud of her.

Let it be known, she is a beautiful, funny little girl who is in love with everything beautiful and shiny. She is NOT the most graceful child in the world. She loves to dance and all that girly stuff, but she's all elbows and knees. Thank God she doesn't know the difference. I love her for it. I told her how proud I was of her for being so brave and riding all by herself.

Matt went and got the camera so I could get a picture of her riding on her own for the first time. Then he asked me to get a shot of him "pretending" to help her so we'd have it for posterity. (I think he was really happy that he had been able to be the one to teach her and that he didn't miss the moment.) As he was trotting along with her she kept yelling at him "I'VE GOT IT! I'VE GOT IT!" Were she a sassy little thing she'd probably have said something like "Let me the hell go! I can ride by myself!"

Failbook

2010-04-01T00:44:00.000-03:00

It's the little things in life that make it wonderful.

I am laughing my ass off.

He missed the point.

Slacker? Who? Me?

2010-03-18T22:06:00.000-03:00

My name is Kate. I am a total slacker when it comes to blogging.

Ok, seriously these last couple weeks have just been busy. Between teaching Adrienne, trips to the library, and Genevieve's birthday this past Sunday (not to mention piles of laundry and dishes that I need to do every day) there just hasn't been as much time for blogging as I would like. But my mood always suffers from the lack of it.

When I write out my witticisms and frustrations it just makes me happier, I think. Not happy as in joyful, but it helps relieve the stresses of the day. And lemme tell ya, this past week in particular has been rather stressful.

Xander is teething, he has a runny nose, and a mild diaper rash. Adrienne has a runny nose. I have had some serious congestion, too. Luckily the worst of it struck after Genevieve's birthday. (Which Charlotte fought valiantly to claim as her own. She lost, but accepted defeat graciously... mostly...)

I re-created my Valentine's Day cake with a few alterations. (It was amazing.) We had the neighborhood kids over for cake and ice cream out in the yard. It was super windy so we wound up moving everything around the corner of the house. As soon as cake was eaten and presents were open Genevieve decided she was cold and wanted to go back inside. Really she just wanted to play with her loot.

I really don't have anything funny or exciting to report. I just felt neglectful and needed to write something.

I bought a new blender at WallyWorld last week. It's just a cheapie Osterizer (25 bucks FTW) but it actually crushes the ice down to a smooth snowiness. I am pretty much in love. Margaritas all summer! I also told Matt that I want to buy a rug steam cleaner of some sort. Our rugs are getting gross and I think it'd be cheaper in the long run rather than hiring someone to come in and clean them for us.

I'm bored.

do people really know me?

2010-03-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

So I keep getting these "Your Friend Answered a Question About YOU!" notifications on facebook. I added the application to see what they were saying and deleted it because I'm just not that interested in having that crap fill my notifications with garbage. The questions were kind of funny, though. So I copied them to share here. The real answers are in bold.

Do you think that Kate knows what a fist pound is? Yes Yes. Who doesn't?

Do you think that Kate has ever failed a class? No Yes. Guess they don't know my academic history very well.

Do you think that Kate would turn you in to the FBI if they asked? Yes Yes (although this might depend on the crime...)

Do you think that Kate could key a car for revenge? No No, I'd come up with something more creative.

Do you think that Kate is superficial? No I might be but I like to think the answer is no.

Do you think that Kate has ever slapped anyone? Yes Guilty as charged.

Do you think that Kate brushes their teeth regularly? Yes Of course I do. People who don't are gross, and I am not gross.

Do you think that Kate has ugly teeth? No After nearly 4000 in orthodontic bills they damn well better not be.

Do you think that Kate has ever played beer pong? Yes I have not. I have, however, beer bonged. I bonged a word? I don't think so, but whatever.

Would you travel the world with Kate? Yes Yes, I would travel the world with myself. I am loved.

Do you think that Kate would lie for you? No This is true. I hate liars and lying.

Does Kate have a nice body? Yes I disagree most of the time, but I love whoever said yes.

Do you think that Kate puts 'hoes' before 'bros'? No This one doesn't even make sense in my life.

Do you think that Kate can do 20 pushups? Yes That would be a negative. I don't think I can even do one.

Do you think that Kate is materialistic? No I'm going to go with no... but I probably actually kind of am.

Do you think that Kate is cute? Yes My ego is happy.

Do you think that Kate has ever been in a fist fight? Yes When I was 11 I punched a snotty boy in the gut and boxed his ears. Does that count?

Would you hook up with Kate? No Thank God for that. Someone random probably answered that one.

Do you think that Kate would look good in a bikini? Yes No. Baby fat and stretchmarks. Nuff said.

Do you think that Kate has good credit? Yes I think I do, actually.

Do you think that Kate can keep a secret? Yes I'm a pretty awesome secret keeper.

Do you think that Kate is tone deaf? No I am.

Is Kate fun to be around? Yes Clearly.

Do you think that Kate can throw a football with a spiral? Yes Maybe? I don't know. That would actually require that I throw a football.

Do you think that Kate has ever lied in an interview? No Correct.

Do you think that Kate should have more self-confidence? No Actually, I could use some every now and then. I have some self-consciousness issues.

Does Kate have a nice body? Yes Whoever said yes is a liar.

Do you think that Kate can dance? Yes Absolutely.

Have you ever had a crush on Kate? No That's good because this could be awkward.

Do you think that Kate has ever fantasized about you? No Knowing the people on my friends list I'm going to go with True.

Do you think that Kate has ever stolen money from their friends? No True. If I had ever needed money that badly they'd have spotted me if I asked.

Words matter.

2010-02-25T22:18:00.000-04:00

I love that time when little kids begin to read and spell on their own. It's an awesome world to them and you find papers littering the house with phrases like "budirfli grten" (butterfly garden) and "gwocumlley" (guacamole) and still others that you have no idea what they mean because there are no spaces between the words.

This is the world I am in right now. And I love it. It brings me oodles of pleasure to see the things Adrienne tries to write. I came home from a little coffee social this evening to find a sheet of printer paper on my table with the letters "gwocumlley" written across the middle (landscape view). Matt had served them leftover enchiladas for dinner.

I was tickled that she had tried to sound it out and write it by herself. That's my big thing these days. I am trying to teach her to read (she's doing really well) but it frustrates me to no end when she gives up and whines because she is afraid of getting it wrong. All I want is for her to try. I don't care if she gets it wrong because at least I'd know she had tried her best.

She does the same thing with math. Today I made her do her minuses first. She got all but 2 right. If I let her do her pluses first she will get half the minuses wrong because she gets distracted and wants to quit. And they are a little harder. So, she does the minuses first and gets them mostly right. Then she does the pluses, which are easier, she enjoys it and they are all correct. She's such a smart girl and she is learning so fast, I hate when she gives up and doesn't try. I know she can do it even if she doesn't.

So, it makes my heart happy to see big words (which are technically in a different language) and numbers (1-60something last I saw the page) scattered around my house.

I heart Faces

2010-02-23T13:13:00.000-04:00

It's been quite a while since I posted an entry in an i♥faces (http://iheartfaces.blogspot.com/) weekly challenge. Usually I just gaze at all of the awesome entries and enjoy everyone elses photography. This week, though, not only do I have an awesome photo to share, but a very sweet story that goes along with it. Sometimes I think the story behind the photo makes it even better.

One day late in the summer of 2008 I got a call from my sister telling me she was pregnant with her second baby. I was happy for her. A few weeks later she got a phone call from me telling her that I was pregnant with my fourth baby. We commiserated together about how tough pregnancy can be. Face it, morning (ALL DAY) sickness sucks.

A few weeks into our pregnancies Sis called me to tell me that they had found out they were having a boy, but that they had also gotten some rough news. It looked like their baby had something wrong with his heart. After some testing and visits with a pediatric cardiologist they learned that Brodie has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. https://health.google.com/health/ref/Hypoplastic+left+heart+syndrome
Basically, the left half of his heart didn't develop and his body is functioning supported by half a heart.

Brodie was born May 1 via c-section with a whole team of doctors and nurses there to attend to any possible medical issue that might arise. 20 days later his cousin Xander was born, shocking us all with the revelation that he, too, was a boy (we thought he was girl #4 for us). So far Brodie, such a sweet little love, has had two open heart surgeries; one just days after his birth, and one when he was five months old. About a month before that second surgery was when this photo was taken.

We were able to go to visit them and officially meet Brodie for the first time last September. My sister and I laughed that our boys were going to be bestest friends. When it was their nap time we laid them down next to one another in the bassinet. They would coo together, drool together, and look curiously at each other. Basically they played together as much as a couple of 4 month old babies (who can't even roll over yet) could. Sweetest thing ever. And then one afternoon during their nap I went over to check on them and our boys were holding hands.

I snatched up my camera and took the shot. These boys are seriously going to be pals for life.

the wants of a little princess

2010-02-22T16:38:00.000-04:00

Last night we were discussing what to do for Genevieve's 5th birthday. I asked what Matt wanted to get her and he asked me "What does she want?"

Well hells bells, I don't know! Adrienne has gotten to that age where she will say for MONTHS what she wants for birthday, Christmas, etc. Genevieve doesn't ask for much, and doesn't usually ask unless you ask her what she wants. So, I promptly called her out and asked what she wanted.

"Uuuuhhhhmmmmmm.... a unicorn?"

"You already have a unicorn, you got one for Christmas, remember?" She should, it was the ONLY thing she asked for. Not that I'm opposed to getting her another one, I just thought she might like a little variety.

"Oh yeah!" She taps her chin thoughtfully for a moment and says, "How about a Barbie?"

Ugh. I was raised playing with Barbies and I turned out just fine, but really, for my little girls I am not fond of them. Basically I just don't think my children need to be playing with a boobiferous woman doll. I buy them Polly Pockets, which do have a little bit of the womanly shape, but they are tiny and don't have porn boobies like ol' Barb. I'm not a total weirdo, there are just some things I think they could be spared from for a few more years. Maintain a little innocence for awhile and let them believe in fairies and live in dress up clothing.

Anyway, I said to her, "But what if you don't get a Barbie, what else would you like?"

"Maybe a fairy doll with brown hair?"

Ok, I can deal with that.

When I related the conversation to Matt as soon as I said the word "Barbie" he said "Oh hell no!" Glad we're on the same page here.

Genevieve is such a sweet little girl, and she sees beauty in everything. Even stuff that makes me think "That is uglier than shiiiit!" I hope she's not too disappointed that she doesn't get that dang Barbie. lol

This afternoon Charlotte was running around in her undies (she'd gotten her clothing wet and stripped, she believes clothing is optional) so Genevieve went and got her new duds. Charlotte was a turd so Genevieve walked around holding that clothing for nearly 20 minutes before I scolded Charlotte to hurry up and get her dadgum clothing on.

So Charlotte is whining, hurts herself (which I don't feel sorry about because she was naughty) and comes and tells me, "Booger!" I am trying not to laugh at her because I know having a snotty nose sucks and feels gross, but she's pointing to her nose, teary eyed, and whining, "Booooger!" She knows where the kleenexes are, she could get them. I guess she just finds some sort of comfort in telling us; she does the same thing pretty much every time she has to pee, too.

Genevieve jumps up and says "I will get her a kleenex!" I continue feeding Xander. (Adrienne, meanwhile, was being a super-helper and getting him another container of babyfood because he was inhaling it. My big girl even opened it and peeled the foil off for me.)

I hear Genevieve say to Charlotte, "You still have some boogers in your hair...."

Grooooooosssss.

My arms full of a wriggling Xander and baby food slime I do what only a desperate mother would do to a sweet, loving, almost 5 year old girl.

"Genevieve, honey, will you just help her wipe it off her hair?"

And she happily obliged.

She is SUCH a good girl.

Super chocolate.

2010-02-14T16:23:00.000-04:00

Last night I made a decadent chocolate cake (which I believe needs some improvements, actually) for a special Valentine's treat (I knew it wasn't going to remain untouched until today, but I figured better to get it made a day ahead of time rather than not get it done at all on Val-day). We ate dinner before Mass and headed out the door, promises of cake for all the good girls when we got back home.

After we got home the sort of good girls got sent to their bedroom to clean up all the toy-mess (lest they be grounded again) before they could partake in the chocolatey goodness. Matt dished himself up a Large Daddy Sized Piece of Cake. As he took his first bite he closed his eyes and said, "I think I've died and gone to chocolate heaven."

I know this man so well. See, instead of making some fru-fru cupcakes or other corny Val-day cutesie treats I thought about the kind of man I married. I decided if I was going to make him something special it was going to be a treat that he'd absolutely love. When we buy ice cream I'm the kind of girl who wants cookies and cream, or maybe some vanilla with hot fudge or caramel sauce. HE is the kind of man who wants double chocolate-chocolate-chocolate, with fudge ripples, and chocolate chunks, and hot fudge poured over the top. When I saw the recipe for the chocolate cake that claimed to have fudgy frosting I knew this was the cake for us. I love fudgy frosting, too. Well, the end result wasn't as fudgy as I expected but I have some ideas on how to improve that. Or just find another recipe for the frosting part. Or even just the filling part.

Late this morning, just before noon, I prepared some lunch foodies for Xander-mander. I've been working on introducing some new foods and textures to his diet. He really loves finger foods and I decided that he cannot live off Zesty Tomato Puffies and Yogurt Meltaways. Well, those things and breastmilk. I felt that his solid foods should have more variety (he does eat some babyfood but usually only about a tub a day). So I brought out the baby mac and cheese. He doesn't seem to like it but I'm going to keep pushing it because John Tesh said on the radio yesterday that you have to introduce new foods upwards of a dozen times before a child will actually take it (on average most parents give up after 3-5 times). Sometimes I think the man is a dork and I don't care to listen to his tips, but other times I am grateful to have caught the particular insight he is sharing. I guess I only really care if I think it applies to me.

Anyway, Xander acts like he hates the baby mac and cheese. I also fed him some peas, which he has eaten before and seriously loved. Today he was rejecting them as well. So, I took a piece of the cake I had served up for myself (post lunch, thank you) and gave him a tiny taste.

He is a boy after his father's own heart. He was on cloud 9. I gave him another small taste. Happy as could be. Then I gave him a bite of his peas.

I kid you not, he CRIED.

I fed him more cake and he was happy again.

More peas. Tears.

More cake. Joy.

Peas. Sadness.

Cake. Love.

So finally I quit and decided he must not be that hungry because Matt walked past the kitchen door and Xander tried climbing out of his seat because he wanted Daddy. I think we got through about half a tub of peas.

The girls, by the way, are in love with the cake as well.

Chocolate Cake.

I think next time I need to add half cream cheese and half sour cream. The frosting isn't as fudgy as I wanted and it's a little sour still, I'm hoping that by cutting it with cream cheese it might thicken it up and add some more creamy and less sour. It's good, but I don't know how into the twang I am. I might just be disappointed because I wanted more fudge than the recipe wound up giving me.

Coolest kids on the planet.

2010-02-05T21:38:00.001-04:00

I am so completely blessed. I have the four awesomest kids in the whole world. You could try to convince me that yours are cuter, funnier, smarter, etc., but I'd pretty much know you're a liar. I live with these kids 24-7. I know they're the best.

My sweet son, Xander B, has gotten to that stage where crawling babes begin to stand up, pulling themselves up on every object they can get a decent grip on. Including Mommy's legs. Which usually temporarily immobilizes Mommy when she has armloads of stuff. He stands there holding on crying to be picked up and I sway as I try to put up whatever items I have in my hands (food, sharp knives, baskets of laundry)... and as much as it interrupts my plans for getting crap around the house done I love it because he wants me. He loves me and he wants Mama's cuddles. That's pretty darn sweet. I can't wait till he gets bigger and starts saying all the hilarious things his sisters say.

This evening during dinner Genevieve said to me, "We are playing Chronicles of Narnia. I am Lucy!" I asked why she wanted to be Lucy and she replied, "Because I think she is pretty."

Now, you have to realize something. They haven't been watching the new Hollywood version of the Chronicles. Oh no. They got a set of audio CDs as a Christmas present from their uncles and have been listening to it every night before bed. In addition to that their friend next door lent them the old BBC Chronicles of Narnia movies. Which, if you haven't seen, Lucy is not particularly adorable. My siblings and I used to laugh about it (especially after the new movies came out) because you read the books and have this image in your head of what they look like... and here comes the BBC, God love them, with Buck-tooth-Lucy. My kids are SO much nicer than I am. haha

But I digress. Adrienne says, following Genevieve's "I am Lucy!" comments, "I wish Peter and Susan and Lucy and Edmund were real. That would be so cool!" How frikkin adorable is that?

Then while I gave them their bath Charlotte (who is just turned 3 a couple weeks ago) says to me, "I am Susan!" It was dang cute. They played in the bath for awhile and I turned around to grab their towels and, as I turned back, I see Genevieve has bubbles on her face and Adrienne has them on top of her head. Genevieve declares, "I am Santa and Adrienne is Mrs. Santa!"

I kick them out of the tub and send them to get jammies on. Take prune-toed Xander in to get a clean dry diaper and jammies on and next thing I know Charlotte is in my bedroom doorway wearing, not panties or jammies, but a pair of Adrienne's socks. Black socks, which, since they are Adrienne's come up to her knees. Butt nekkid except for knee socks. She's such a beautiful little twit.

The girls are in bed and my little drooling, leg grabbing, glasses stealer wants some Mommy time. Pulling on my leg and saying "Bub-bub-bub!"

Radiology ftw

2010-02-04T00:51:00.000-04:00

So, a few days ago a girl I knew in college had a baby. ("Girl" might not be quite the right term since she's like 28, but I digress.) She and her husband were told at their 22 week ultrasound that they were having a girl. They were happy that their daughter would have a sister to play with, even though I get the distinct impression that she thinks her 2 boys are much easier to deal with.

They planned for the past 19 weeks for a girl.

When the beautiful little darling was born, with a head full of super thick dark hair, the doctor announced:

"She's a BOY!"

I am very happy for them, they are loving their newest addition even if he wasn't exactly what they expected. But, I still couldn't help but laugh at the whole scenario. I am sure they were in total shock for a few minutes. I know we were when we had our boy (we didn't find out but we totally expected another girl). I really think it's pretty hilarious.

Also, how the heck did the u/s tech MISS that? I thought it was supposed to be really obvious.

I thought this was going to be a really funny blog but it's kind of flopping. Maybe if I posted more I'd get back into the swing of being humorous. haha

Chicken little. That'd be me.

2010-01-12T21:59:00.000-04:00

I have been attempting lately to get the kids in bed an hour earlier than their old bedtime. I am pretending this gives me an extra hour of quiet time and that I can also go to bed earlier (and thus wake up earlier)... so far I'm not entirely certain it's working but I'm going to pretend it is.

Yesterday I went and fed my friend A's dog because she went to the hospital to have her baby. When we went into the house he started barking like crazy and when I went in to get him out of his cage to feed him and let him go to the bathroom he bared his teeth at me... friend L told me that maybe he was just smiling but I'm not convinced. he was barking and when he bared his teeth like that he looked like Satan's dog.

When I went back to let him out at noon he jumped up and knocked me into the wall (I was secretly terrified he'd bite me and I'd be alone, mauled by a large dog... I left my kids with a friend the second time I went over because he scared the poo out of them). I managed to arrange to not have to go back over at all. L was originally supposed to go over but she had to go a couple hours away for her dad's birthday and then wound up needing emergency dental work done so I agreed to fill in for her.

Then I chickened out. But, it worked out in the end because A's parents were going to be coming into town and were taking care of the dog after that. And, I will forever have the story of Satan's dog to tell. Of course, I never want A to know I said that about their dog, but that encounter seriously freaked me out. I plied the dog with treats and tossed them ahead of me on the ground so he'd go after them and not jump at me.

I'm such a chicken shit. lol

Peaceful moments.

2010-01-09T23:45:00.000-04:00

I love walking around my house after my family has fallen asleep. I love looking in on them and seeing them all resting safe and peaceful in their beds. I love them in all sorts of moments and times and ways, but I think there is a special sort of pride-love-my-heart-is-about-to-burst feeling when I look at them while they sleep. They are mine and they are all so sweet and beautiful. Even when they lay there, mouths agape, and I chuckle a little, it moves me. I just want to squeeze them tight and never let them go.

I cherish the moments when out of the blue they come up to me for hugs. I love the way they make me feel special and important. No matter how tiring all the day to day junk is, even if they don't realize all the stuff I do for them, somewhere along the way they still end up thinking I am pretty great. It moves me; I know that I am terribly flawed and that I should be doing so much more for them, and they still think that I'm the best mother ever. They tell me so. They make me want to try harder and do better so I can prove them right. I hope they always love me this much and never see the ways in which I fail. Or if they see them I hope that they at least forgive me for it and still appreciate all the good things I have tried to do for them. I'm going to vote yes. haha

So big.

2010-01-07T21:18:00.001-04:00

That's really big.

behorgous

bignormous

e-monge-ous

These are just a few of the words I have heard Genevieve use to describe something that she thought was very large recently. I love the things little kids come up with.

Deprived little things.

2010-01-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

This Christmas I realized my children, the oldest of whom is 6 years old, have NEVER EATEN JELLO. Ever. (At least I'm fairly certain of this fact.) I came to this realization on Christmas day when a family friend brought jigglers in holiday shapes (Santa included) to Matt's parent's home for Christmas dinner and my kids pretty much went nuts.

"What IS this stuff?"

"Mom, I REALLY like Jello!"

"Can I have some more JELLO!?"

Well shit. I didn't realize how deprived they were. I mean, I hate the stuff. The consistency is gross. My mom always made us eat it when we were sick. I always hated it when it wasn't fully dissolved and there was that nasty grainy layer on the bottom. Pure disgusting. Anywho. I hate it and I don't buy it and I don't make it. Hell, I rarely even make pudding. But today, because I love my children, I bought jello Snack Packs. They pretty much think I'm the most amazing mother EVER. And that's alright by me.

After feeding them each a cup and realizing that they won't eat a whole Snack Pack I got the brilliant idea of making mini jigglers out of them. What little girl could resist butterfly and flower shaped jello, right? So I shook out a cupful of the stuff, sliced it out, and let them cut out shapes with the mini cookie cutters. They had a blast. They refused to eat the edges, so a fair amount was wasted. And Genevieve wanted to save hers because they were so pretty. Adrienne and Charlotte pretty much cut and scarfed. Xander crawled around and got his clothing dirty.

I need to mop my kitchen floor.

I hate my oven.

2009-12-11T16:52:00.000-04:00

Either I am turning into a failure of a cook or my oven is crap.

I vote B.

In the last week I have had a double batch of poppyseed bread BURN, and a double batch of homemade brownies BURN.

The brownies maaay have been slightly my fault (they were really thick), but the poppyseed bread was most definitely the oven's fault.

This is horribly embarrassing to me. I've been cooking and baking since the 4th grade. I'm normally good at it. The brownies were so bad not even Matt would eat them and I had to throw them out. You have got to understand, he love, love, loves brownies. For him not to eat them they've got to be really bad.

Last night was our company Christmas party and I made brownies, cheesecake squares, and magic cookie bars. The only one that they ate all of was the brownies. What is wrong with people? All that magnificent baking (because these really did turn out awesome) and all they want to eat are brownies?

Now I know why some people skip holiday baking. Humbug.

Sweet Dreams

2009-12-07T02:00:00.000-04:00

I Heart Faces Week 48: Sweet Dreams

When I saw this week's challenge for I ♥ Faces I thought "I can TOTALLY DO this!" Well, fact of the matter is I totally have done it about a million times. Some results better than others. But this one of Xander is by far one of my favorites. Taking such beautiful pictures of my kids now makes me feel guilty for gipping my older girls with bad photography when they were littler. Not that I'm stellar now, but I'm a good stretch better than I was. It also helps that my camera is about a gazillion times better than that first little Kodak point and shoot 3 megapixel camera I had 7 years ago!

Anywho, this is my beautiful son. Just a few hours after he was born. Taken by me after Matt had left the hospital to spend some time with the girls at home and let me rest. I may not have gotten much rest but that hospital had some of the best lighting EVER. I was seriously jealous that my home didn't have such nice light. I can feel how soft his cheeks are just looking at this picture. I can see my girls in those cheeks, too, and remember how it was when they were all this small (and now they are gangly legged Big Girls... 'cept Charlotte, she still has a little chub on her cheeks ;) still some gangle in her legs, though ). It makes me a little sad that he's already starting to crawl. And yet again I'm still so proud of him for it. But, that's a blog for another day.

Sweet sleeping babies. They make my heart sing.

L.

2009-12-06T19:53:00.000-04:00

A few years ago I was on a kick of making avatars and desktops. I saved all of them (some are pretty pathetic and no I will not share them). Among these files I found this:

I had made a pretty sweet desktop background for L. with it. The girl in the painting reminded me of her. When I think of her that's the face I see (only L, not a painting). I still think that the Little Knitter looks like L. Only L has a few years on her. haha

There is a bit of irony there, though, because sometimes I think the Little Knitter looks sad, and when I think of L. my favorite thing to think about is her laugh. It's amazing. It makes me feel happy. I like making her laugh just to hear it.

I think I should record her laughing and use it for my ringtone.

That would be epic.

Photographic...

2009-12-04T15:57:00.000-04:00

Today, I can report (with humorously mixed feelings [not in a bad way]) that I was featured on PW's blog!

I'm excited that she mentioned me (I have to say, personally I thought Laura's and my stunt was pretty memorable), but on the down side I pretty much look like a dork. Whoops.

In keeping with that theme I got a new ID card today as my old one was about to expire and on a military base you basically can't do anything without one of those magic little cards. And you know what? I look like a total freak.

Seriously, where the heck are my eyebrows??? And why do I look like I'm on drugs?

I tried to take a couple pictures to redeem myself and even that didn't really work out very well. (Thank you Daughters O Mine for breaking my tripod.)

Blurry:

Meh:

Why yes, I DID do laundry today and hung it to dry on my husbands pull up bar. How did you know?

This is probably the best one, after some serious cropping, and it's still rotten (I should have cropped that last one, it may actually be better but out of the 6 shots I took they all made me wince so I quit).

These are some of the first pictures I've tried taking since having Xander (we took a couple after Matt's Ranger school graduation, but I really think that's just about the only pictures I've taken... that's a lie, I did take a couple "head shots" for Matt while he was away at Ranger school because he missed my face and I'd only been sending him pics of the kids). At least Xander is lovely and adorable no matter what.

That's got to count for something, right?

I met PW. Kinda.

2009-12-02T15:07:00.000-04:00

Ok, so after my "I love Laura" post last night I should probably go a little more in depth and explain why I was so giddy.

I chatted with her as she left work last night and she told me she was going to Ree Drummond's (The Pioneer Woman http://thepioneerwoman.com/) book signing.

Color me jealous.

I wished her a happy adventure and said I'd chat with her later. I also told her to tell PW that I love her. haha

A couple hours down the road I received the following message:

Laura: okay so im at the pw signing ;)
if you connect via video when i get up there i might let you say hi :-P

Well, needless to say I jumped on THAT train immediately, because I'm a P-dub addict and read her blog every day unless something keeps me away from my computer.

I uncorked a bottle of wine and we chatted for the next few hours while Laura made her merry way down the line. At some point along the way, I forget how early on, Laura told me that she had bought me one of Ree's books and was getting it signed for me. Which blew my mind because it was pure awesome. I was going to order one off amazon but I knew that there weren't going to be any stops along Ree's book tour that I'd be able to make it to so I'd resigned myself to my fate of not getting a signed copy and never getting to meet Ree.

We also took pictures. It's what we do.

I think people found us humorous.

Laura prefers to be behind the lens so most of the pictures I got of the evening looked like this:

Or this classic Laura pose:

While we were in line I got to meet Amy from http://iheartfaces.blogspot.com/

We also perused the shelves (like how I talk about this like I was physically there?) and found such gems as this:

Flash cards? Oh my.

And we got closer and closer. Poor Laura had to carry me all night. But she was such a trooper. I really had the better end of the deal, I just sat around and drank wine and chatted.

I never realized that Borders had a whole section for Dummy books.

In keeping with our earlier theme:

Lest anyone worry that her arms got too tired hauling my bum around the store all night she did get a chance to sit and rest:

And we did a lot of this:

and this:

My ONLY regret is that when I actually got to "meet" Ree my head was in the clouds and I neglected to take a picture. Laura has one that I am going to steal. haha

So, thank you Laura for doing this for me. You made my night. Thank you Ree for being such a good sport and staying up till the wee hours to sign the books for all us yahoos. And thank you to all the people who hung out with us all night and laughed at our antics. I had a blast at the book signing. :D

ETA: Check out L's version of our grand adventure (her pictures are undoubtedly better because they weren't taken through a computer screen! haha!) http://whennooneslooking.wordpress.com/

Love that girl.

2009-12-02T03:16:00.000-04:00

Laura, let it be said, is effing a-mazing. She stood in a line for hours to get a book signed (by one of the arguably coolest bloggers ever) and not only included me in her adventure but got me a book and a t-shirt. Freaking awesome. I love you forever, Laura. I hope I didn't scandalize anyone with my loose tongue there at then end, but I was a wee bit tipsy (still am) and ridiculously excited. I hope Ree wasn't too freaked out by my mug on the computer right in front of her face. haha

I'm stoked and cannot wait till we can wear our t-shirts together and plot what recipes to cook.

FTW! haha

Sad, sad little bloggie.

2009-11-15T18:31:00.000-04:00

Still lonely and naked.

We're gearing up for another week of Armyness. We've pretty much spent our weekend sitting on our asses. Except yesterday, we were supposed to go to a "mandatory fun day" but Genevieve got sick so we stayed home. I ran a few errands while she slept and Matt was home to take care of her.

I bought a whole slew of ingredients for making Christmas cookies. I am really excited to make them with the girls this year. It'll be the first year I've really done it with them. Before they were little and it didn't really make a difference; last year I was pregnant with Xander so I was really sick. All we made was a batch of Peanut Blossoms. Which Matt instantly fell in love with and made on his own when I wasn't feeling up to making another batch for him. HAHA! I was duly impressed with his ability to follow a recipe.

THIS year, however, will be different. I found a bunch of tin/copper cookie cutters just like the ones my mom had when I was little. They had belonged to my grandmother. It's just awesome to me that I will be able to make the same cookies with my kids that I grew up making with my mother. The only difference is that I have a Kitchenaid mixer and won't be breaking my arm stirring cookie dough. haha Woot! for improvements. I'd say technological advances but I know they made those mixers when I was a kid, my mom just didn't own one.

I'm looking forward to the great cookie adventure. My kids are going to go crazy with frosting cookies. I love it.

Weed.

2009-10-17T23:52:00.000-03:00

What a lonely, naked, little blog I have.

My life has just been too hectic to write lately, and when I have thought of something funny to write about by the time I get a chance to do it I've completely forgotten what I was going to say. I keep telling myself that I will get the time, that I will start blogging regularly again (because I like to and it's good for me even if no one else reads it). It never seems to actually happen, though.

Tonight, however, I DO have something. Short but sweet, and, if I do say so myself, effing hilarious.

I was getting the girls breakfast and had poured three bowls of Cheerios. I went to the counter to get a banana to cut up and toss in and I hear Adrienne say, "It smells like WEED!"

I turned and said "What???"

"It smells like weed."

"WHAT smells like weed?"

"My Cheerios. They smell like weed. Like the weed that's in Grandma and Grandpa's garden!"

"Oh. You mean WHEAT." (My in laws have a small patch of rye/wheat in their garden and the kids like to play and hide in it.)

She giggles, "Oh yeah, wheat!"

Later on in the day she asked me "What's weed?" Needless to say she does not know what marijuana is, I just though the whole scenario was hilarious and wanted to know what else she would say. I did eventually explain that weeds are "bad" plants that grow in the garden and you pull them out so your vegetables grow properly.

Lonely around these parts.

2009-09-05T01:17:00.000-03:00

Poor, poor, neglected blog.

Matt graduated Ranger school. Woot!

We're moving next week.

Visiting some family while our house is getting prepared for us. Looking forward to getting settled again, excited for the new place. I'll write a real blog entry later when we get settled.

The girls and boy are doing great. So good to have Matt home. Relaxing and sipping wine. :)

Busy as ever.

2009-07-17T23:20:00.000-03:00

It's been a few weeks, but I'm alive and kicking. The main reason I haven't been blogging is because I've been writing letters to Matthew instead. Kind of blogging to him, I guess... only with a pen and paper. It's important, though, to tell him all the little things the girls say and do. The new coos and drools from Xander. The explosive diapers and the noses on the wall for bad behavior, too. He knows his kids aren't always perfect, no sense in sugar coating it. And really, sometimes even though they are naughty the story of what happened is too funny to keep to myself. I love and hate those moments. You can't let your kids SEE you laughing at their hilarious but naughty behavior but you can't hold it all in. But, you still have to discipline them for it. Talk about mixed signals.

Today was Matt's 8 hour pass---the only chance we have to see him during Ranger school. The next six weeks will be spent at post in GA, and in FL. I made Matt's favorite meal last night so I could re-heat it and have some waiting for him in the car when we went to pick him up this morning. I spent a good chunk of the day washing and drying 4 loads of RANK laundry. OMG, I cannot begin to express how awful it was. Muddy, musty, sweaty... some of it I washed twice. Those guys really go through a lot. Matt wrote me a short letter earlier this week and said it was " pretty much a suckfest." My husband does not usually talk like that, so when he says things like that I know it's gotta be tough. It was good to spend the time with him today even if it was mostly spent doing laundry and a last minute errand before dropping him off again. He spent a lot of the day trying to comsume as many calories as possible, drinking Powerade to replace electrolytes, and eating fresh fruit (which we stopped off at the store to buy because he wanted it so much---living off MREs for 3 weeks'll do that to you).

All in all today has taught me one thing: 8 hours is really short. But I am grateful for every second of it. I think the best part of it was after we got home; I had sat down to feed Xander, Matt was throwing in his first load of laundry and he looked over at me and said "You're a sight for sore eyes."

Phew.

2009-06-29T09:55:00.000-03:00

Quickie post this AM (usually I blog later at night, and might get in an entry later tonight but for now, in case I don't I wanted to add this).

My Ranger school connection (I was going to say "hook up" but that just sounds wrong lol) called me at 8:30 this morning. I accidentally hung up on him because I thought it was my alarm going off. Whoops. We are friends with a Captain who works over at the Ranger battalion and he called to let me know Matt passed his test. He said that "he did well" and he's in B company--so from what I understand he got in this class.

Praise God!

I wasn't expecting to hear so quickly how he did, but I am so glad that our friend passed the word along to me. I'd have been going crazy all day if he hadn't called.

Worn out.

2009-06-28T23:45:00.000-03:00

Must... have... 15... minutes!!! *&^%)@_)$@_!

Today has been so draining. It wasn't even a difficult day, it's just... ugh. I don't know. All day I have felt on the verge of tears but I don't feel like I have a reason for them to come. Given what I'm about to detail some people might disagree, but I've felt like this off and on the past couple weeks and I think it comes more from exhaustion than anything else. It's just my brain and body's way of letting go or something. I've gotten so wound up trying to keep everything together and in order that something's gotta give.

Today I dropped Matt off at the Ranger battalion. I'm praying, and hoping, and wishing, and banking on him passing the RPFT tomorrow (Ranger physical fitness test). He took it last week with the other LTs at the LTO office (where they report and do PT, etc. between classes) and he passed everything but the run. He failed it by 12 seconds. (A lot of guys failed the test by a lot more than that, too.) Usually push ups are his weakest set, but back in April he sustained a stress fracture during Airborne schoool. We thought it was probably muscular or something so he pushed through the pain for the 3 or 4 weeks of that course and went to the doctor afterwards. They put him on a 30 day profile (no running or high impact exercises) so he wasn't able to train for Ranger school and keep his run time in it's normal range (otherwise he'd have passed it last week).

A week and a half ago he went back to the doctor and they cleared him for PT and Ranger school and he started training for the run as much as he could in that short period of time. He started with one mile and worked his way up to 5 by last Wednesday. Unfortunately those last 12 seconds put him at the bottom of the list. Sort of. Using the PT test scores and their scores from IBOLC they made an order of merit list and divided that into 5 groups. The bottom 2 groups are getting sent on to their next duty stations, the first 3 are taking the RPFT. If these guys pass they will be going to Ranger school either NOW or in July. If they don't pass they will be moving to their next duty stations in 10 days.

Matt MUST pass. I don't care if he has to wait until July. I just cannot move in 10 days. There is no way I can be ready for that. Unless God tells me otherwise, which He seems to like doing, but seriously I don't believe I can do it right now.

I'm in a weird place. I have faith in Matt, I believe he can do it. I believe he will pass. But there is also this cloud of uncertainty hanging over me because I just don't know what direction our lives are going to take over the next couple days. I hate not knowing. No matter what the answer is I can deal with it, I just need to KNOW. (See, I really am focusing on myself, I swear.)

Don't worry, I'm not suffering from PPD. I'm totally chill with my baby and girls. I'm just tired out. There has been a lot going on here in the past month. Colleen was here and she was a terrific help. Then she left. Then my brother and his family came. Then he left. Then another friend came. She left. She came back. She left. And it's been great having these people visit us, especially my brother (it had been over 2 years since I saw him between him being in Japan, Iraq, and CA, and us being in Korea and then GA)... it's just a different way of life when you have visitors versus when you're on your own time.

Maybe I'm just a little overwhelmed, I dunno. I just need some breathing room and a little certainty. I should know either late tomorrow or sometime Tuesday how everything went with Matt's PT test, but until then I am in this state of limbo that I hate. Freaking sucks.

In the meantime I'm chilling out at the computer, listening to some Jason Mraz right now... I exercised for the first time since Xander was born this evening. I only eeked out about 10 or 15 minutes but it was enough for me. My kids are in bed, finally all of them are asleep. I am blogging my 15 minutes (the first chance I've had to take it since my last blog) because if I try to sit quietly I'll probably fall asleep. lol I could totally stay up longer if I am being entertained but if I just sit there and have nothing to do but drool I'm not going to stay awake.

Yeah, I totally just wrote a public diary type of post... heh.

time to decompress

2009-06-25T20:57:00.000-03:00

So I have been trying to think of a creative blog for at least a week now and nothing has been coming to me. I start writing and it's been totally lame. I decided that I needed to start doing my 15 Minutes of Me Time again. I have barely done it since leaving Korea, and I know that with Xander it will be harder to pick up right now, but it will be worth it. I can devote more of that time to blogging, and the self-reflection is good for me. Heck, 15 minutes alone, preferably with some peace and quiet is good for me even if I don't blog or self-reflect. I totally get why my sister in law sends her kids up to their rooms for an hour or so of naps or quiet time (depending on how old they are) every day.

Lately I've been mad at myself (sort of) because I still have 25 lbs of baby weight that I need to lose. I just want to shed it so I can wear my normal clothes again. I have to keep reminding myself that it took me a good 4-5 months to get back into my regular jeans after having Charlotte, and I gained about the same amount with Xander. I'm not going to magically be back into my old jeans one month after his birth. My body just doesn't work that way. Gain 50 lbs and it's going to take some time to shed that. Duh. So I look in the mirror and think "Ew, I have such a flabby stomach and a fat ass," but eventually I know it'll be gone. I just have to try and remember that when I am thinking about how I look like some nasty old man with a beer gut. Ew.

Speaking of old men, earlier today I was looking at some photos of a woman I know who is married to an older man. She's 26 or 27 and the guy she's married to looks at least 10 or 12 years older, possibly more (I've never met the guy). I think he looks older but I'm trying to give the benefit of a doubt here. Personally, I think he looks like he's (at least) in his early 40s. Not in stellar shape (but then again who am I to judge?), but not an ugly guy. Anyway, point is, it makes me wonder why young women fall for older guys. I know there has to be something there, some attraction, some pull, but to me it would be way too weird. It would just make me think of my dad or my uncles. It's difficult to make the connection to "I can see why she's attracted to him" when I've got this image of my uncle Joe in my head (and he's the cooler, better looking uncle).

I have weird hang-ups, though. Beards and mustaches, for instance, creep me out. I know guys (my brother included) who look great with facial hair (and I have no problem admitting it), but I could never, ever date a guy with it. I thank Jesus that Matt is like minded on this one. He can barely go 24 hours without shaving. Friday night when he gets home he'll say he's not shaving all weekend and by Saturday night he's got out the razor.

Ya know what else I don't get? iPhones. Cell phone plans are pricey enough as it is, why would you buy a device that requires you to add an additional 30 bucks (PER PHONE, so if you have 2 phones on your plan that's 60 bucks extra) just to use it? We have a 2 phone plan, the lowest plan ATT offers, and we still average about 80 dollars per month after all the taxes and junk. Do I want to add an additional 30-60 bucks on that? Heeeeelllls no. The iPhone is just not THAT cool. Not that I wouldn't mind upgrading my 3 year old phone that's been dropped in the bathtub twice, but I can handle a modest little phone. One that won't cost me extra money every month just because I want a cool gadget.

I subject jump way too much. I could have made this into 4 blogs. haha On the upside I've had about 30 minutes of mostly uninterrupted "me" time. I did have to tell the girls to pick up some toys, and Xander is on my lap because he was getting fussy, but moments like this don't always come this easily. I have been staying up late so I can have a little bit of semi-quiet (I still have Xander with me) where there aren't as many demands on me as there are during the day. I wouldn't trade my lot in life for anything, but a girl needs a little peace and quiet every now and then.

I am lazy.

2009-06-04T01:29:00.000-03:00

So I got really lazy about posting these last few months. I got busy with life, growing a human being, etc. But things are getting back on track.

I just developed a nervous twitch because my friend gifted me a Jonas Brothers song on iTunes. What a nasty trick, Jim. lol

Ok, this is a lame short blog, but I'm alive and well and so is my husband and all my kids. I'll write a real one soon.

Oh, and the baby, a boy, is damn cute. :D